September will be here soon, and with fall like weather comes school. It’s officially one week until my College orientation. I am beyond nervous. I’m actually quite frightened.
There's a lot about starting school that has me freaked out, but here are my top three reasons:
1. Childcare: This has been a huge concern for me. If I’m being completely honest I really haven’t been away from my daughter very much since she’s been born, when I was 17. The odd part-time job that was no more than 30 hours a week; that time I went back to school for 6 weeks to get my high school diploma; and I only kept a full-time job for three months before quitting to spend more time at home with Sidney.
Luckily my timetable is pretty awesome. None of my classes begin before 11AM so I know I will always be there to drop her off at school. My Grandma has agreed to pick her up after school and babysit her until Nick gets home from work. In reality, I shouldn’t be at all worried because my Grandma has always babysat for us whenever I worked or went to school. Yet, I’ve never had to rely on someone else to pick her up, or to be there if she gets sick and needs to go home early.
If I want to chase my dreams I’m going to have to learn to trust other people to care for my baby.
2. Workload: I haven’t been in school full-time since I was 16 and that was 7 years ago now! I managed to get my high school diploma through correspondence and a 6 week afternoon course through an adult learning center – it was easy. Knowing I will have 6 classes, four days a week, at a college level with homework and assignments on top of my personal hobbies (such as blogging) and family life seems almost impossible.
Even though I’m stressing myself out thinking about it, I know that when the time comes I will surprise myself. I often do. Like when I had to start work at 7AM, which sounds like hell to a night owl like myself, but I did it and I loved it. Or when I was forced to do a presentation for D3 Artworks Inc. in front of the Grand River Film Festival committee. I was a sweaty, nervous mess minutes before it was my turn to take the stage but once I was up there I managed to get through my speech just fine and everyone was able to hear me (big surprise because I’m very soft spoken!).
I clearly need to trust myself more, too.
3. Making Friends: You may have or may not have noticed I don’t blog about going out with friends, ever. The reason for that is, I don’t have many friends. And the ones I do have I don’t see very often. I’m an introvert in every way. I enjoy my alone time, I enjoy being quiet. Normally I have no problems with my introverted ways, but I want to get everything I can from college which also means meeting new people, making new friends and networking. It’s never been easy for me to go up and talk to someone new, I’m not just an introvert but I’m extremely shy. Sometimes when I think about having to do group assignments I get really worked up over it. What if no one wants to be partnered up with me? Silly, I know, to make such a big deal out of something so simple but I’m sure many quiet, shy, self-conscious or introverted person might be able to relate.
Even though I’m stressing myself out thinking about it, I know that when the time comes I will surprise myself. I often do. Like when I had to start work at 7AM, which sounds like hell to a night owl like myself, but I did it and I loved it. Or when I was forced to do a presentation for D3 Artworks Inc. in front of the Grand River Film Festival committee. I was a sweaty, nervous mess minutes before it was my turn to take the stage but once I was up there I managed to get through my speech just fine and everyone was able to hear me (big surprise because I’m very soft spoken!).
I clearly need to trust myself more, too.
3. Making Friends: You may have or may not have noticed I don’t blog about going out with friends, ever. The reason for that is, I don’t have many friends. And the ones I do have I don’t see very often. I’m an introvert in every way. I enjoy my alone time, I enjoy being quiet. Normally I have no problems with my introverted ways, but I want to get everything I can from college which also means meeting new people, making new friends and networking. It’s never been easy for me to go up and talk to someone new, I’m not just an introvert but I’m extremely shy. Sometimes when I think about having to do group assignments I get really worked up over it. What if no one wants to be partnered up with me? Silly, I know, to make such a big deal out of something so simple but I’m sure many quiet, shy, self-conscious or introverted person might be able to relate.
For these three reasons I’m having a difficult time keeping my cool. For the past two weeks I’ve been experiencing heart burn and now my chin is covered in stress acne.
I think it’s normal to be nervous though. I just have to figure out ways to deal with this stress appropriately.
What are some things that make/made going to school, or starting a new job scary for you? How do/did you cope with attending college/university for the first time? Or maybe even a new job?
What are some things that make/made going to school, or starting a new job scary for you? How do/did you cope with attending college/university for the first time? Or maybe even a new job?
Thanks,
Cole
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Aww! These are perfectly reasonable to be worried about, but like you said, you'll be fine!
ReplyDeleteThe childcare will be a lesson in giving Sydney a little more independence (I can only imagine how scary it is for parents to send their kids to summer camp!!) but that could be a good thing. She'll get to bond with her grandma and also learn some different things -- and when you guys are together, that time will be even more special and meaningful. Plus, I am sure she is so proud of you, too, and you can tell her about what you're learning.
The workload: I think the hardest part is just re-adjusting to it again, which can take a while. I know when I first went to college, I looked around and thought everyone was so much smarter than me and how did they think so fast and was I really supposed to be there? But after a week or two, it faded as I got more comfortable. I think it could end up being an adjustment, but a good one. As long as you're patient with yourself and realize you are meant to be there, you'll be fine! :)
And finally, making friends: I can be introverted and shy at times, too (I also can be outgoing and boisterous -- just depends, haha), but I'd say that the good news about most college campuses is that most people want to make friends. It can take a while in classes, but it's a patience thing, too. Maybe arrive to class a few minutes early and chat with someone a little before it or linger after. Give a genuine compliment or instead of waiting for someone to pick you for a group, pick them. But you'll start to see familiar faces soon enough and warm up to people's personalities over time and that'll help you to feel more comfortable. :)
Good luck and it'll be great!
--Erika
http://www.chimerikal.com
Thanks for all of the advice! It's all very true.
DeleteBeing patient isn't necessarily my best attribute though, and I can be really hard on myself. Heck, just trying to apply for OSAP and school was so confusing I was beating myself up over it and thinking, "Jeez, I can barely even APPLY to go to school, am I even smart enough to be in school?" But obviously I figured everything out (on my own). And just like everything else in my life, I'll surely figure it out and most likely enjoy myself.
Thank you :)