Passion for Your Program is More Important Than Grades

It's just past mid-term now. I can't believe how fast time flies when you're having fun! And no, I'm not being sarcastic.

 

When I first got accepted into the journalism program, after the excitement of actually getting accepted passed, I started to worry that I made a mistake. I started to doubt my decision. After all, journalists have to talk to people day in and day out, and I've never been all that comfortable approaching people.

 

In the second week, when we finally started handing in assignments, my first grade was a 60 per cent. It was on a hard lede we had to write as our first assignment in Newswriting. Seeing such a lousy grade made me think that I had made a mistake, that I was too stupid for college and I should just give up while I could still get a refund (like I've mentioned before, I'm a pessimist by nature).

 

Obviously I didn't quit. Instead I put more effort into my next assignment and got 100 per cent.

 

The truth is, college isn't easy but it isn't nearly as difficult as I had feared either.

 

But more importantly than my intelligent or skill level, is my passion.

 

I never knew I could like something so much before. I'm excited to go to school every day, and while I don't enjoy some classes as much as others, I appreciate what I'm learning and know it will be useful (ahem, Group Dynamics).

And so I've just recently noticed something. My friends and family aren't nearly as excited about journalism as I am! Can you believe that? Big surprise, eh? Unfortunately they don't seem to want to listen to me describe each class, and each lesson, and each assignment in detail.

 

At first I didn't even realize how much I talked about school. Until one day I was telling Nick about my day for a couple of hours, until he finally said in the nicest way possible that he wanted to change topics. I wasn't insulted or anything. A few years ago the tables were turned and I had to kindly inform Nick that I just couldn't listen to him talk about work any more.

That's not to say that the people in my life aren't supportive! Because each of them are in their own ways.

The point is, it was an eye opener.

 

I knew I enjoyed my classes but having someone point out that all I talk about is what I'm learning (even law!) must mean that I really love it. Good grades or bad (or really a mix of both), I know I made the right choice because it feels right.

Obviously aiming for high grades is extremely important as well. What I mean by this is that sometimes you might not get as good a mark as you had hoped, or you might not start out getting good grades right away. But if you have passion for your program you will want to study, to do the work and constantly seek new information which is bound to lead to amazing grades, amazing opportunities and an amazing life.

Have you ever gotten that feeling before? That you were doing what you were meant to do?

Thanks,
Cole

Weekly Wishes #8 - Backpack Hunt Continues

Weekly Wishes is a link-up over at The Nectar Collective, where people share their goals and aspirations for the upcoming week, and discuss any challenges they may have faced. Feel free to check it out and link-up yours, too!

Backpacks:

I missed last week's Weekly Wishes. Mostly because I failed my goal of buying a backpack.

I did look for one in several different stores. I even almost bought one! But I have been having a difficult time finding one that I really like. It has to be large enough to fit my laptop in, and all of my textbooks and it has to be good quality, pretty and an affordable price. I know that I will continue to use this bag well after college so I don't mind investing a bit of money into it, but I do have a budget of $100. I might even be willing to go over a bit if I really like a certain backpack.

 

The only backpacks I have managed to find are either - large, ugly and expensive or small but pretty, good quality and affordable. Either way, none of the backpacks I have come across met all of my standards. It's important to me to only buy things I absolutely love.

 

Since shopping in stores has proven to be pointless I will continue this goal and begin shopping online!

 

And perhaps I need to consider different options. If I can't find a backpack large enough for my laptop and my books, maybe I need to start looking for a separate laptop carrier. However, I really don't want to be juggling too many bags. Why is this so difficult?

 

Backpacks I am considering:

 

Fashion Canvas Shop

 

 

Mooshi Leather Design

 

Kinies

Blogging:

I've been putting more effort into blogging and because of that, interesting opportunities are presenting themselves to me. I'm not going to elaborate on that statement until things are more finalized. However, I am really excited to be back to a regular blogging schedule and hope to keep it up!

 

Because I didn't manage to check off all of my goals from Weekly Wishes #7, I'm going to stick with them over the next week and I hope to have better news next Monday.

And I would love if I could get some feedbacks, comments or suggestions for my backpack dilemma! Only thing is, I want a backpack, not a messenger bag because it hurts my shoulder.

Did you manage to complete any goals lately? Tell me about it!

Thanks,
Cole

Reasons to Feel Grateful During College Crunch Time

 

 

Lately I've been feeling really stressed out with the amount of school work I have to complete.

Every night I have piles of homework, big projects and presentations with deadlines that are quickly approaching. And every day in class I try my hardest, but sometimes it isn't enough. Sometimes I don't get a very good grade, or I feel completely lost. School is tough at times.

But one thing I always remind myself, especially when my desk is covered in papers and my calendar shows I have two tests and a project due the next day, is that I am so happy to be in college!

I worked so unbelievably hard to get to this place.

 

And I am extremely grateful to be here.

Something I have learned recently is that the things that seem the most difficult, the things we have to work the hardest at, are usually the things that have the greatest rewards.

 

It's always good to remind yourself why you are doing what you are doing instead of just thinking about how difficult it seems. And to always remind yourself that you are stronger than you think and you can handle more than you believe - so clear your head and just do it.

 

I know for myself that starting college was really scary. I kept thinking about how much everything was going to cost, how difficult it would be to balance school and family life as a parent, how I would get to school, if I was smart enough, and so many other worries were in my head.

 

One thing I knew for sure though was that I wanted to go to college. I wanted it so bad, and I was willing to work hard to make it work. And the funny thing is, I surprised myself.

 

Yes, now that it is officially halfway through term one I do have a lot of homework, assignments and tests, but I have also settled into a comfortable routine that makes everything balance.

 

I've never been good at time management, and I do still struggle with it, but I'm making it work! And I'm getting better at it every day.

 

All of the things that worried me don't even seem that bad any more. I mean, school is expensive and I have to be super careful with my spending, but I'm learning to budget myself and how to handle my finances better.

 

It's funny all of the other things college can teach you outside of your school work. While I'm learning how to use recording equipment, CP Style and Canadian law for journalists, I'm also learning how to better organize, how to manage my money, how to be healthier, how to multi-task, and even how to relax and have fun.

 

So I am truly grateful for this experience and all of the lessons I am learning along the way.

 

Did you ever experience a time you didn't think you could get through? How did you handle it? Did you come out stronger?

 

Thanks,
Cole

Don't Waste Your Money - Choosing a College Program

 

A friend of mine is considering going to post-secondary school but has no idea what she wants to take. So that got me thinking about why I chose Journalism, and how other people might decide on a program.

 

I think a lot of us have experienced that feeling of wanting to work towards a career but aren't sure exactly which direction to go in. But if you're going to spend thousands of dollars on school you want to make sure it is the right program. Too many people rush into college or university and end up dropping out, and get stuck with giant student loans they have to pay back and don't even get anything out of it!

 

Before I chose Journalism as my college program I considered so many different options. I like so many different things. Especially within the art/creative field.

 

I considered taking:

 

• Graphic Design
• Interior Decorating
• Photography
• Fine Arts
• General Business (I still want to be an entrepreneur.)

 

It was when I worked at D3 Artworks Inc. that I really focused on choosing a program. In fact, it was a requirement at D3 (which is a government program to help youth find employment). The employees at D3 helped us in so many ways.

 

We had to:

 

• Take personality tests
• Mind-map
• Research different schools and programs
• And of course, do a lot of thinking!

 

Journalism is something I've always considered taking but I never saw myself having much of a future within that field because I've always been so shy. You can not be shy if you are a journalist. As a journalist you constantly have to put yourself out there; cold calling people, getting interviews, doing interviews, networking and connecting with the community.

 

Working at D3 really helped me get out of my comfort zone. They gave me support, and believed in me. Sometimes having at least someone tell you they believe in you is all it takes. If it's fear that's keeping you from deciding on a particular program, you need to face that fear. You can accept it, but know that you will have to work with it, and to overcome it if you want to succeed.

 

To be honest, I would like to take photography after I've graduated from my Journalism program! And I wouldn't mind taking a few business courses either. The fun thing about college is that you can keep going back as much as want, or are willing to pay for.

 

And, you might not even need post-secondary! Really think about it first. Can you teach yourself? Can you learn as you go? Can you find someone to mentor you?

 

For those of you who are in post-secondary right now, how did you decide on what to go for? Was it something you've always wanted to do? Did you start going for something else and then switch?

 

Let me know! I'm curious. :)

 

Thanks,

Cole

Week 1 Review of The Life Makeover

I've been working on my goals, slowly but confidently. With so many new projects coming up at school, it can feel overwhelming having to deal with my personal projects, too. But these projects are important to me, and they're important for me. For Sidney, too, because she is so greatly affected by every choice I make. Do you know how stressful it is knowing that you are not the only one affected by your decisions? It's tough!

 

Surprisingly, I'm managing much better than I ever thought I could.

You never know what you're capable of until you try it. That's something I'm constantly reminding myself, but it's true!

 

September Goal Update Week 1:

 

1. Health: I still have not picked up my exercise bike! Maybe this weekend? Even though this isn't part of my goal this month, I just want to say that I can really feel a difference in my health from the amount of walking I've been doing since school started!

 

2. Parenthood: Sidney and I have developed a comfortable evening routine. Not only that, but I've been making a conscious effort to be more patient, and to not skip any part of the routine because I'm too lazy or tired. That used to happen a lot. I'd feel tired and grumpy and so I would promise to read Sid double the bedtime stories the next night. It always made me feel guilty and I hate feeling guilty. Or sometimes I would decide to make Sidney's lunch in the morning, so I could relax sooner, but the next morning would be hectic and I'd curse myself for not doing it the night before. This week has been great though.

 

3. Relationships: Over the last little while I haven't done much with any of my friends. Since deciding this had to go on my Life Makeover list, I've made plans for Saturday and even messaged a friend I haven't seen in months. We're making plans to go to the movies sometime soon.

 

4. Home: My living room is slowly coming along. I have a little work space I've been putting together in the corner, which is something I wanted to do when we first moved in. But Nick claimed this spot for his music (guitar, amp, records, stereo, etc.) and so I settled my desk in the bedroom. Now this corner is all mine! Ha ha ha!

 

5. Money: Okay, this has proven to be the most difficult task so far! I did send out two resumes earlier this week, and will continue to browse job listings. Now the hardest part has been this damn budget! I bought a book (way to spend less, eh?) called Debt-Free Forever by Gail Vaz-Oxlade (from Til Debt Do Us Part! Love that show.), and I thought it would quickly show me how to make a quick budget. Turns out it's so much more complicated than that. This book has steps, and while I probably could skip ahead, I decided it was better to read through it and complete the activities in order. My budget might not get finished for a while, but I still have 17 days left and I want to do it right.

 

6. School: Like I mentioned in my Life Makeover introductory post, school is just on this list so it doesn't end up getting neglected as I move further along with my goals and get more involved. You'll be happy to hear that I have been early for every class since the beginning, and have handed in every (two) assignments in on time! Plus I've done all the reading ahead of schedule, and have even taken it upon myself to do extra assignments that are not required. I'm not bragging or anything, I just LOVE this program!

 

It's incredible how amazing I've felt this week. I'm excited to get up in the mornings and rarely sleep in! I love going to school early, and I love coming home. My apartment is slowly making it's way to how I want it to look, which has made it much more enjoyable around here.

 

And I have to say, going over my finances for the first time... ever... feels really good. It's scary at first, and the numbers are a bit shocking, but at least knowing what I owe gives me something to work with and that's good. Now to find out what I bring in... Hopefully that number is shocking in a good way. ;)

 

Yes, I'm still sad sometimes. It would be weird if I wasn't. But I'm practicing gratitude and being more optimistic. It's kind of like a fresh start, and I'm really glad that I started school at the same time. I think if I weren't in school I would be a complete train wreck over this breakup, but school keeps me focused and positive.

 

How's your week going? Have you managed to tackle any goals today?

 

Thanks,

Cole

First Week of School

My first week of college is officially over, and somehow I survived! Mind you, it was only three days. Usually I will have 4 days of school (Monday through Thursday), always between the hours of 11AM and 6PM. Not bad!

 

Over the past three days our professors have been giving us fun little exercises to help us get to know one another. If everyone stays in the program, we will be working very close with one another for the next two years (although, apparently more than half will likely drop out? According to my professors.).

 

I wouldn't say that I'm embarrassed of my life - being a young mom, living on my own, just starting college now - because I'm not. But I never know how people are going to react to it. I don't want people to think less of me because of it, or judge me before they get to know me. And I think that a lot of people will judge me.

 

Whenever we had to do these little exercises in class I wasn't sure if I should throw that in there, but yesterday I decided, "Hey, they want to know a bit about me, well Sidney is basically my whole life. I might as well throw it out there."

 

So when we did our little interview practice with a partner I was fortunately teamed up with a very friendly girl who was 1. shocked that I had a kid so young, 2. excited to listen to my story and 3. didn't seem judgemental at all. When she had to introduce to me to the class afterwards based on our interview I was really nervous! It's one thing to have a one on one chat with someone (who was being equally as open and honest with me about her life), but it's another to have someone else present it out loud for the entire class to hear. Plus, I hate being in the spotlight.

BUT I made it through!

Of course this was the last class of the week, and I have no idea what people were thinking afterwards.

 

I'm sure it went in one ear and out the other, considering I can't seem to remember anything anybody said about themselves or their interview partners that afternoon. I know, I'm horrible but I was too freaked out over having to go up in front of the class to focus on anything else.

Other than that, my week was pretty great! I love my classes, my professors are all super amazing! And they are all working journalists, too! Except my Group Dynamics teacher who doesn't teach anything to do with journalism. But seriously, how awesome is it that all of my teachers are working journalists? I think it's pretty sweet.

I'm also really happy to be back on a routine. And I think Sidney is, too.

Which by the way, Sidney is LOVING grade one! She's already making new friends, one of them named Sydney, and is excited to go to school every day.

On the first day of school Sidney won a prize for completing her assignment before anyone else! She's actually in a split class with grade ones and twos.

It's been a super exciting week. I can't wait to go back to school on Monday. Always excited to get home to be with Sidney, but I never seem to want my classes to end either.

How was your week? Did you return to school, too?

Thanks,
Cole 



Orientation Day

 

The day before orientation, as I packed my bag with everything I would need, I realized I didn’t receive an actual Orientation Package. Apparently it would be needed on orientation day!

So of course I felt a little bit panicky and completely unprepared. Nick calmed me down by telling me to arrive early and stop in the Registrar Office to ask about it.

Already feeling anxious, I made sure to set my clothes out the night before and to get a good night’s sleep. Everything would be okay.

Well, Nick and I slept through our alarm and woke up 40 minutes late! It was raining lightly, and much too hot and muggy to wear the clothes I picked out. I ran around my room, trying to get dressed quickly. I gave up on the idea of fixing my hair and skipped the make-up routine entirely.

As we drove there I just kept thinking, “Why is it raining today? This can’t be a good sign." (Still trying to fix my pessimist ways.)

I made it just as the Registrar Office was opening. The lady was super nice and gave me everything I needed. With the help of some orientation leaders, I found my way to the Recreation Center. (Why are school campuses so confusing?) I have a feeling I will spend a fair amount of time getting lost this semester.

While standing around in the Recreation center, surrounded by my new classmates, I couldn’t help but feel weird. I was excited, but at the same time I kept thinking, “What the heck am I doing here? I don't belong!”

When talking to a couple of girls in my class, they seemed so confident, so sure of themselves and I couldn’t help but to wonder again, “What the heck am I doing here?!” Because I have no idea what I’m doing most of the time, and I rarely ever feel confident. Sad, I know, but I'm working on it. :)

The Journalism Coordinator started off by writing a number on the blackboard. He wrote 324. He told us that was how many people applied for the program and only 70 were accepted, including me. I have to admit that hearing that kind of made me feel a little bit better.

After talking to us a bit more about the program in general he had two 2013 graduates and three 2nd year students tell us a bit about their experiences at the college. All five of them already had jobs, part time or full time, within the journalism field. The graduates told us about their jobs, how they landed them and what it was like. Hearing their stories helped me feel better. Most of them didn’t consider journalism at first. The one girl even said she only took journalism because she didn’t know what else to do, but knew she liked writing.

In short, her story sounded like my own. Yet here she was, starting 2nd year and already working. Maybe I’ll do alright after all.

Afterwards, I went and got my student card as well as my library PIN. Holding that card in my hand makes me feel like a real student! It sounds kind of lame writing it down, but that’s how I feel.

As I waited for the bus to take me home, dark clouds rolled in over the campus grounds. Thunder began to rumble in the distance and lightning flashed not so far away. Eventually I had to wait under the bus stop shelter as rain pelted down in big, heavy drops. As all of this happened, I looked around at my new school and instead of taking this random thunder storm as a sign for gloomy days ahead, it just made me more excited.

Now that the day is over, I wonder why I ever felt nervous in the first place.

Thanks,
Cole

Top 3 Reasons I'm Scared to Start College

September will be here soon, and with fall like weather comes school. It’s officially one week until my College orientation. I am beyond nervous. I’m actually quite frightened.

There's a lot about starting school that has me freaked out, but here are my top three reasons:

1. Childcare: This has been a huge concern for me. If I’m being completely honest I really haven’t been away from my daughter very much since she’s been born, when I was 17. The odd part-time job that was no more than 30 hours a week; that time I went back to school for 6 weeks to get my high school diploma; and I only kept a full-time job for three months before quitting to spend more time at home with Sidney.

Luckily my timetable is pretty awesome. None of my classes begin before 11AM so I know I will always be there to drop her off at school. My Grandma has agreed to pick her up after school and babysit her until Nick gets home from work. In reality, I shouldn’t be at all worried because my Grandma has always babysat for us whenever I worked or went to school. Yet, I’ve never had to rely on someone else to pick her up, or to be there if she gets sick and needs to go home early.

 

If I want to chase my dreams I’m going to have to learn to trust other people to care for my baby.

2. Workload: I haven’t been in school full-time since I was 16 and that was 7 years ago now! I managed to get my high school diploma through correspondence and a 6 week afternoon course through an adult learning center – it was easy. Knowing I will have 6 classes, four days a week, at a college level with homework and assignments on top of my personal hobbies (such as blogging) and family life seems almost impossible.

Even though I’m stressing myself out thinking about it, I know that when the time comes I will surprise myself. I often do. Like when I had to start work at 7AM, which sounds like hell to a night owl like myself, but I did it and I loved it. Or when I was forced to do a presentation for D3 Artworks Inc. in front of the Grand River Film Festival committee. I was a sweaty, nervous mess minutes before it was my turn to take the stage but once I was up there I managed to get through my speech just fine and everyone was able to hear me (big surprise because I’m very soft spoken!).

I clearly need to trust myself more, too.

3. Making Friends: You may have or may not have noticed I don’t blog about going out with friends, ever. The reason for that is, I don’t have many friends. And the ones I do have I don’t see very often. I’m an introvert in every way. I enjoy my alone time, I enjoy being quiet. Normally I have no problems with my introverted ways, but I want to get everything I can from college which also means meeting new people, making new friends and networking. It’s never been easy for me to go up and talk to someone new, I’m not just an introvert but I’m extremely shy. Sometimes when I think about having to do group assignments I get really worked up over it. What if no one wants to be partnered up with me? Silly, I know, to make such a big deal out of something so simple but I’m sure many quiet, shy, self-conscious or introverted person might be able to relate.

For these three reasons I’m having a difficult time keeping my cool. For the past two weeks I’ve been experiencing heart burn and now my chin is covered in stress acne.

I think it’s normal to be nervous though. I just have to figure out ways to deal with this stress appropriately.

What are some things that make/made going to school, or starting a new job scary for you? How do/did you cope with attending college/university for the first time? Or maybe even a new job?

Thanks,
Cole

One Month Until School - Getting Nervous!

 

 

I'm writing this post on my balcony out front. It's a nice change from the kitchen table. Two weeks ago we had a blistering hot heat wave where all you could do was sit and bake and sweat. Since then it's been too cool for me to wear shorts and a t-shirt, let alone go swimming or anything else I would normally do in the summer.

 

Summer is never long enough here in South Western Ontario. It's already August 1. Only one more month of warm weather, possibly two if September feels like dragging it out. I really hope it warms up soon, we haven't even gone camping yet!

 

Still, I would rather this cool breeze than the humidity.

 

The other night I had a dream that I went to my college orientation, except I was turned away. I was told I didn't pay on time and so I wouldn't be attending school this year.

 

Needless to say, I think I'm stressing!

 

It's true, I haven't paid for school yet and the deadline is quickly approaching. I still haven't heard anything on my college funding application - has it been accepted or denied? Will I get a free education or do I need to pay? As a back up plan I've applied for a student loan, but I haven't heard anything from them yet either.

 

Other than the whole paying for school thing, I think I'm just nervous in general! Sometimes I catch myself thinking that I don't even want to go anymore, which is a lie. I haven't been in school full-time since 2006! I don't even remember what it's like to have a ton of homework, let alone a college work load.

 

Then I start freaking out about child care. My Mom and Grandma have both agreed to help out with Sidney, picking her up from school or dropping her off, watching her while I'm in class, etc. Except, I'm the type of person who feels like no one can watch my child as good as me - which is also a lie because I'm not the mother-of-the-year type. I just hope Sidney gets to school on time, doesn't get picked up late and gets proper nutrition.

 

If that isn't enough to worry about it, I often stop to think about how I'm going to do financially. I won't be able to work, college and a five year old is enough responsibility for me at one time. Nick will be working, of course, but will it be enough?

 

And these are the thoughts that are going around in my head right now. With three weeks left until orientation and just one month before the first day of school, reality is starting to set in and I'm freakin' scared!

 

Thanks,

Cole

I Broke My Camera Lens!

WARNING: A bit of whining ahead. And a pretty flower.

 

 

I've been having a tough time financially. Our bills exceed our income, and we're falling behind.

 

It's been difficult to try and stay positive during this time in my life, but when you have a daughter to raise you have to stay strong. I can only fake a smile for so long though, before I break down and want to cry. This summer hasn't been a completely enjoyable one but we've been trying our best to give Sidney a great vacation before school starts up in September and she's off to grade 1.

 

Luckily, there are many free activities in Cambridge. Free swimming, movies downtown, events at the library and there's always the park. My Mom and Grandma have also been very kind and generous with their time and money. They've been here to take us out almost every day.

 

I was looking for a part-time job, but with just over a month left before college I don't see the point any more. No one wants to hire someone who will only be there for a very short length of time.

 

So we cut back on spending, we cut back so much there's nothing left to cut back on.

 

To make matters worse, a few weeks ago my laptop broke. I had to buy a new one because I will need it for school.

 

This morning my daughter knocked my camera off of the table, and the lens broke! Which I also need for school. I can't afford to replace it.

 

Right after I saw what happened I ran to my room, threw myself on my bed and cried. I just couldn't take any more financial stress. I cried for a good 10 minutes, hard, painful cries that I tried to muffle in my pillow. It felt kind of stupid to cry over a broken camera lens, but I was also crying for all the other things in my life that just haven't been working out for me.

 

After a while I made myself stop, because I realized that Sidney was hiding in her room feeling bad for having knocked it over. I don't want her to feel bad, I shouldn't have left it out - if only I had put it away right after transferring my pictures to the computer. We had a nice little chat and she didn't feel quite so bad afterwards.

 

Once I calmed the two of us down I did a bit of research. Turns out I can buy a replacement piece (which is apparently called a bayonet mount) for about $10 directly from Nikon. With the many YouTube tutorials and blog articles on how to fix it yourself I'm sure my mom and I can get it put back together again. I say my mom and I because I know I lack the patience required to fix things.

 

And truth be told, I'm scared to tell my boyfriend that I broke our camera. He bought it for me as a gift 5 years ago and I know he will be just as upset. It sucks when something you've worked hard for, were always so careful with, and truly loved gets broken.

 

No point in sitting around wallowing over it though, is there? It won't change anything, it won't fix my lens or make a new one magically appear. It will only make me feel bad, and I'm so tired of allowing myself to feel bad.

 

Now, if I can only find a quick and easy fix for the rest of my finances - or at least a realistic solution!

 

This is not a great start to my new college adventure.

 

 

Oh well!

 

 

Thanks,
Cole

Day 16 Blog Challenge - My Biggest Accomplishment

31 Day Blog Challenge - March

 

My Biggest Accomplishment

My daughter, Sidney, is my biggest accomplishment. 

It's been tough, being a young parent, but Sidney has turned into an amazing little girl. She's kind, smart, happy, healthy and thriving. As most of my readers will know, I had my daughter when I was 17. It was terrifying, and amazing all at the same time. 

Sidney is my greatest accomplishment not only because of how awesome she is, but because of all the things she has taught me and motivated me to do.

Having Sidney in my life has been an amazing adventure.

Another great accomplishment of mine is graduating high school, which was just last year. I dropped out to raise Sidney the way I wanted to. Finishing high school wasn't easy, but I want to be able to provide the best for my daughter.

And, I'm going to college this September!

Check out my previous challenges:

Day 1 - Portrait
Day 2 - Favourite Quote
Day 3 - What Makes Me Happy
Day 4 - Best Childhood Memory
Day 5 - Favourite Movies I Never Get Sick Of
Day 6 - Random Acts of Kindness
Day 7 - My Dream Job
Day 8 - Pet Peeves
Day 9 - What's on Your Life List?
Day 10 - Daily Routine
Day 11 - The Last Books I've Read
Day 12 - Something I Miss
Day 13 - Regret
Day 14 - Music
Day 15 - I am Awesome! 

Thanks, 

Day 9 Blog Challenge - What's on Your Bucket List or Life List?

31 Day Blog Challenge - March

 

My Life List:

• Drink a pint of Guinness in Ireland
• Travel Europe
• Try camping in the winter
• Take a photography class
• Write a novel
• Buy and live on a hobby farm
• Have my own business
• Scuba dive, with an underwater camera
• Take Sidney horseback riding
• Go on a family canoe trip
• Go ziplining
• Graduate college

There's a lot more I would do, but these seem to be the ones I talk about the most. 

What's on your life list?

Check out my previous challenges:

Day 1 - Portrait

Day 2 - Favourite Quote

Day 3 - What Makes Me Happy

Day 4 - Best Childhood Memory

Day 5 - Favourite Movies I Never Get Sick Of

Day 6 - Random Acts of Kindness
Day 7 - My Dream Job
Day 8 - Pet Peeves

Thanks, 

Life, Expectations and Appreciating What You Have

Live in the moment, appreciate what you have and just roll with it.

Life is weird. It never turns out how you expect it to.

I never, ever, ever, ever, ever, never thought that one day I would be 22 years old, with a five year old daughter, engaged to one of the hottest guys at my high school, living in my parents basement and trying to get into college for Journalism.

What I Thought Back Then

• When I was 16 I was contemplating becoming asexual. I thought men (boys) were all pigs. I never had a serious boyfriend and didn’t want one. I was actually very upset that I wasn’t a lesbian and could not make myself become one. Finding men attractive upset me even more (there went my asexual plan). And I certainly never believed in marriage.
• I also never thought I would have children. I never took babysitting gigs. I didn’t swoon over babies. I wouldn’t even hold a baby. To be honest, Sidney’s diaper was the first one I had ever changed and I am embarrassed to admit I had to page the nurse in to help me (and it was a pee diaper). 
• I never really put any thought into what I wanted to do with my life. I kind of pictured myself being a novelist, or an artist but didn’t think it would be possible (I had really low self-esteem). I never even really considered post-secondary school.
• As far as my living situation went, I really enjoyed the idea of having my own cute studio apartment in a big city, just me and my cat. Which is the complete opposite of what I want now.

What I Got

I have to say though, I am so happy with how things have turned out!

• I’ve fallen in love, and felt true heartbreak (what a rollercoaster of emotions!). 
• Having a child has made me a much better person, truly. She gives me hope, motivation and opens my eyes to all the beauty in the world. Something I could never see before. 
• And living in a big city? Forget it! I want a hobby farm with a greenhouse and chickens. Although, I might prefer having my own place over living in my parent’s basement at the moment. BUT I am truly grateful for my mom’s generosity and support, and that we have a place to live. 
• As far as post-secondary schools goes, it’s like this thing that I just have to do. I don’t know why but I so desperately want to receive my diploma and check it off my goal list. I love writing, I love writing articles and opinion pieces - it only makes sense to take journalism. And who knows, I might write a novel one day yet!

It’s crazy how much things can change over the years. It’s also exciting, because routine kind of drives me insane.

Where will I be in a year from now? Two years? Five years? No one knows and I don’t even want to. I love knowing that I don’t know and won’t know until it happens.

You just gotta roll. (Yeah I took that from Hotel Transylvania. Great movie, but like I mentioned before - getting kind of sick of it.)

Has your life turned out how you expected?

Thanks,

Week In Review - College Application Accepted!

Week in Review:

I've seen a lot of blogs do this and I love reading them! So I thought it would be fun to start doing it.

Personal Life:

Parenting - The weather has been strange this week. The beginning of the week was warm and raining. Now it’s freezing out and snowing - a lot! So basically, we’ve been stuck inside. Doing crafts, watching TV and lazing about. And FYI - I am so sick of the movie Hotel Transylvania.

Growth - I am in the process of organizing my life and everything in it. I want everything to be clean, organized and simple by the time I start college. So far I’ve weeded out my movies, books and music and filed all my paperwork but there is still so much to do.

Health - There’s a chance that I may have a thyroid problem. I’m showing a lot of the symptoms. Plus my sister has a thyroid problem and I’ve read that it’s genetic. Which could explain my weight gain, or maybe I just want something to blame other than my laziness... Anyway, it’s almost time for that dreadful annual check-up, so I’ll bring it up to my doctor when I see her. It’s also time for a dental check-up, too. It’s always one thing or another…

Professional:

Work - I've been doing the awful January job search. Anyone who has ever tried to get a job within the retail industry in January knows what I'm talking about! All I need is a job that pays me by the hour until I can go to college this September.

College - As far as college goes, my next appointment is in a week. I'm still working on that paperwork. There are all these questions on it! Like, "Tell us about your educations plan." and "How did you come with this plan?"

I don't really know what else to say other than "I want to go to this college, because it's close to home." I'm pretty sure the answer can't be that simple though. And then I have to prove that upon receiving my diploma I will be able to find a job within that field and not have wasted their money. I’m really stressing out about this. If I can’t write killer answers to these questions, there is a good chance I won’t get my funding application accepted.

Good news though. I’ve been accepted into the college program of my choice, and just confirmed it!

Etsy - We’ve got a bunch of new items we plan on listing within the next week. I’ve also finished retaking all the pictures, too. Or at least almost finished. I have a few more items that I need to retake.

New Items:

Libbey Glasses

Anchor Hocking Candy Dish

Hand Crafted Ontario Wooden Bowl

Mid Century Square Wire Bowl

Pyrex Percolator

So that’s what’s going on right now.

What’s new with you?

Thanks,


PS - Today is our 6 year anniversary. No biggie. :)

My Disorganized Life

My Life Is In Chaos

As of right now everything I own, everything I have and everything I do is disorganized. It's no wonder I can't get my life sorted out with this big mess of a room; files tucked away in all sorts of places, bills out of whack, my clothes spilling out of drawers, books laying around in piles everywhere.

If I could afford to hire a professional I definitely would, but since I can't I will simply have to figure this out on my own.

I figure there are three main parts of my life that need sorting out to become a much happier, more productive and successful person.

My “Stuff”

 

The first one is sorting out my physical belongings. That includes everything from my books, to my paperwork, my wardrobe, movies, music, desk area, and so on. I see a lot of de-cluttering involved.

In the past couple of weeks I have been weeding out my books, DVDs, Cds and clothing but there is still a lot of work to be done. Plus, I have no where to store the things I don’t want except for the garage which is kind of full at the moment. I can’t wait until yard sale season to get rid of my junk.

My filing is all scattered, too. Bills are tucked away in my desk drawer, in the bookcase and even in the bathroom (huh?!). Most of them need to be shredded, but some do need to be put away properly.

I also need to find better storage for Sidney’s artwork from school which is a lot, and is taking over the entire house! I have no choice but to buy a large storage bin to put them in. Even after recycling 90% of them (which breaks my heart every time!) there is still so much.

The bathroom is getting really cluttered, too. Time to go through my make-up and beauty products again. How do they keep building up when I rarely even go shopping?

All of my other belongings are tucked away in the garage - my furniture, kitchen gadgets and other house items. They’ll have to stay there until I move out.

Time Management

 

The next is sorting out my time. I need to learn to stop procrastinating, better time management, prioritizing chores, my spare time, learn how to become more productive and still have time for what really matters - my family.

I have all the free time in the world right now and yet I don’t get everything done in a timely manner. What will it be like when I start a job, or college? Best to take advantage of this downtime to get things straightened out before the hectic schedule of school and work.

I definitely see a chore schedule in my future. And it might be a good idea to prepare for things beforehand, like getting Sidney’s bag packed the night before instead of my mad rush in the morning.

My Crazy Mind

 

The most important thing I need to sort out is my head! I need to get things straightened out, decide on what really needs my attention, learn how to let things go and stop stressing out.

But I think even more important than that, I need to find a system that works for me so I can stay organized.

But it's scary! Where do I start and how do I do it?

I guess the first step would be to clean my room. Which means I have to stop procrastinating and just do it. So here I go, head first into this mess I’ve been avoiding for a week…

Thanks,
Cole

Applied To College

A little update:

Etsy Shop Branding

I’m in the process of retaking pictures for all of my items for Little Shop of Treasures. I’m also redesigning the business cards so they look prettier and go with my banner. I'm even trying to get this branding thing right, and because my items are very 60’s/70’s retro I want to work off of that. It’s complicated, for me anyway, but a great learning experience.

College Funding

Besides working on my Etsy shop to pass the time, I went for another appointment about college funding and got some pretty good news. I guess I misunderstood before and there is a chance of getting full funding for everything, and living allowance for full time students - if my application gets approved. So I applied for the program I want to get into today and hope to hear from the college within the next couple of weeks. I'm confident I will get in - because I actually got accepted into the same program last year but had to turn it down due to lack of money.

In the meantime I have some paperwork to fill out which means some research and writing is involved. I want to knock their socks off and show them how awesome I am at it, and that journalism is the perfect program for me and I will be successful. That way I will look confident in my decision, and then they will hopefully feel confident in my decision, too.

It’s been an exciting week!

Thanks,

College Funding and Overcoming Fears of Failure

Over the weekend I got some discouraging news about my potential college funding.

The fact that I might be able to get funding totally went out the window, and in my mind I already got it. I was so looking forward to going to college this fall that I didn’t even consider that my funding application might not get accepted.

Well, the place where I am going to for college funding has many different ways of attaining it. As of right now though the number one option is looking pretty dim. If my application even gets accepted, the funding won’t even cover half of my tuition costs. This really upset me yesterday, and I spent my afternoon moping around when I should have been doing something productive (ie cleaning!) or at least doing some of my own research on college funding.

The truth is, without funding I will not be able to afford to go. I don’t even know if I could get a student loan.

I’m trying to maintain a positive mindset though. I’m going this fall for journalism. This is all I want to do with my life, it’s all I have ever wanted to do and I don’t want to wait another year.

I’m not going to be the person I’ve always been - the kind of person that gives up easily when things start to feel difficult. For many years I was that person (still am). I thought (think) that I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, pretty enough and so I would give up before things got worse or didn’t work out.

But what if they do work out?

What if I actually got the job (the one I never called back for an interview because I assumed I would fail)?

What if my novel actually got published (the one that’s still in my head because I assumed I would fail)?

What if I actually get college funding? What if I do amazing? What if I succeed?

There’s still a chance they will find a better option. So I’m going to keep moving forward with my paperwork, research and dreams and in the end everything will work out. It has to. And I have to stop being afraid.

Do you ever feel like giving up because you’re scared?

Thanks,

Growing Up and Moving Forward

Young Mom Growing Up:

Growing Up


I consider myself incredibly lucky. 

I've been able to (mostly) stay at home to raise my daughter since she was born. I have had odd jobs over the past three years, but for the most part I have been a stay at home mom. 

I was there to watch her first steps, 
hear her first words, 
comfort her through her first cold and 
raise her myself the way I wanted to. 

Not a lot of parents get that opportunity. A lot usually have to go back to work after their maternity leave is over within a year, but because I was a teen mom (and a high school dropout) I didn't have to worry about that. 

I'm not saying it was easy. 

We had our financial struggles but to me time spent with my daughter was more important than money spent on her, as long as she had everything she needed (and she did). 

While I enjoy working outside of the home part-time simply to get out of the house and interact with other people who aren't family, I just can't stand the thought of a full-time job away from Sidney. That's why I've been trying to find ways to make money from home, like so many other parents. But that takes time.

Now I have to face reality. 

I need to make more money, which means I need to find a job. 

On Wednesday I went to find out about college funding and if I'm eligible for living allowance while I am in school. This will pretty much determine how the next year goes. If all goes well I will be attending college this September. If not I have to look into a part-time program and hit the pavement for that dreadful full-time employment. Let's root for option 1!

Yes, college will take up a lot of my time. I'll either be in classes or doing homework but I know I'll be working towards something better. 

It's very scary, and very exciting and when I think about it too much I feel an anxiety attack building inside of me. Will I go to school? Or will I have to get a job? These thoughts can consume me if I let them.

So I try to push it out of my mind and try to focus on other things. Simply because I won't know the answer until later. Still, I can't help but obsess and clench my jaw, and give myself a headache!

Do you ever stress yourself out over things you have no control over?

Thanks,