Top 3 Reasons I'm Scared to Start College

September will be here soon, and with fall like weather comes school. It’s officially one week until my College orientation. I am beyond nervous. I’m actually quite frightened.

There's a lot about starting school that has me freaked out, but here are my top three reasons:

1. Childcare: This has been a huge concern for me. If I’m being completely honest I really haven’t been away from my daughter very much since she’s been born, when I was 17. The odd part-time job that was no more than 30 hours a week; that time I went back to school for 6 weeks to get my high school diploma; and I only kept a full-time job for three months before quitting to spend more time at home with Sidney.

Luckily my timetable is pretty awesome. None of my classes begin before 11AM so I know I will always be there to drop her off at school. My Grandma has agreed to pick her up after school and babysit her until Nick gets home from work. In reality, I shouldn’t be at all worried because my Grandma has always babysat for us whenever I worked or went to school. Yet, I’ve never had to rely on someone else to pick her up, or to be there if she gets sick and needs to go home early.

 

If I want to chase my dreams I’m going to have to learn to trust other people to care for my baby.

2. Workload: I haven’t been in school full-time since I was 16 and that was 7 years ago now! I managed to get my high school diploma through correspondence and a 6 week afternoon course through an adult learning center – it was easy. Knowing I will have 6 classes, four days a week, at a college level with homework and assignments on top of my personal hobbies (such as blogging) and family life seems almost impossible.

Even though I’m stressing myself out thinking about it, I know that when the time comes I will surprise myself. I often do. Like when I had to start work at 7AM, which sounds like hell to a night owl like myself, but I did it and I loved it. Or when I was forced to do a presentation for D3 Artworks Inc. in front of the Grand River Film Festival committee. I was a sweaty, nervous mess minutes before it was my turn to take the stage but once I was up there I managed to get through my speech just fine and everyone was able to hear me (big surprise because I’m very soft spoken!).

I clearly need to trust myself more, too.

3. Making Friends: You may have or may not have noticed I don’t blog about going out with friends, ever. The reason for that is, I don’t have many friends. And the ones I do have I don’t see very often. I’m an introvert in every way. I enjoy my alone time, I enjoy being quiet. Normally I have no problems with my introverted ways, but I want to get everything I can from college which also means meeting new people, making new friends and networking. It’s never been easy for me to go up and talk to someone new, I’m not just an introvert but I’m extremely shy. Sometimes when I think about having to do group assignments I get really worked up over it. What if no one wants to be partnered up with me? Silly, I know, to make such a big deal out of something so simple but I’m sure many quiet, shy, self-conscious or introverted person might be able to relate.

For these three reasons I’m having a difficult time keeping my cool. For the past two weeks I’ve been experiencing heart burn and now my chin is covered in stress acne.

I think it’s normal to be nervous though. I just have to figure out ways to deal with this stress appropriately.

What are some things that make/made going to school, or starting a new job scary for you? How do/did you cope with attending college/university for the first time? Or maybe even a new job?

Thanks,
Cole

Young Mommy Memoirs Joined Facebook

Young Mommy Memoirs Facebook Fan Page!

Today Young Mommy Memoirs joined Facebook!

In all honesty, I was a little skeptical about adding a fan page for my blog because I'm a little skeptical about Facebook in general. But because I want to reach as many people as possible I figured it's one of the best ways to do that. 

How many people are on Facebook? Like, everyone I know. And how often do these people go on Facebook? Like, multiple times a day. That's why it seemed so important to start a page. 

If you have the time, come check me out! And I wasn't kidding when I said I just made this page! I'm lacking likes and content as of right now, but give me time and I assure you that my fan page will be the place to get updates and information. 

http://www.facebook.com/YoungMommyMemoirs

Thanks, 

Being An Introvert And How It Affects Parenting

My Experience As An Introverted Parent:



Quiet Time

First of all, I think it’s important to explain what exactly an introvert is and to debunk some of the myths.

In simple terms an introvert is a person who becomes energized by being alone, and exhausted by external stimulation - being around other people. They enjoy thinking, exploring their thoughts and feelings. Introverts are not always shy, stuck up, anti-social, loners, nerds or weird.

While I am shy, and probably very weird, I am also an introvert. That’s just my personality.

For the longest time I actually thought something was incredibly wrong with me. How was it that I could literally, and physically feel drained after being around other people? Why did talking with people at work, and school and even my own family and friends make me feel so tired? And being alone doing the same things make me feel energized? I noticed this happening, but I didn’t know there was a term for it, and that other people also experienced this.

Then I learned I’m an introvert and there’s nothing I can do about that.

My real concern is, how does being an introvert affect parenting? I’d be lying if I said Sidney didn’t tire me out. And living at my parents house again, being around more people, tires me out even more.

It’s hard to explain I guess. While I absolutely love my daughter, and adore spending time with her, there are days when I would love to just be alone.

To make things even more difficult, my husband and child both appear to be extroverts. Sidney is constantly demanding my attention. She doesn’t understand why mommy would ever want alone time, because she hates to be alone.

So I started to do some research on parenting as an introvert. I got some great tips to meet both my introvert needs, and my child’s extrovert needs.

• Make sure your child gets lots of time with other people whether it’s a playgroup, with family, or after school activities.
• Thank goodness for school, and that my daughter can spend a major part of her day with a classroom full of other people - if you work at home, enjoy the quiet while it’s there.
• Take the time to be alone and don‘t allow yourself to feel guilty - you will be a better parent this way because you will be more energized and happy.
• Have your spouse spend some quality time with your child so that you can have some time to yourself, whether it’s to read a book, take a bath or simply sit and think.
• If you have to, hire a babysitter and instead of going out with other people, go out alone for a couple hours.
• Skip the busy, crowded gym and workout at home alone - walking, jogging, yoga.
• If your child is old enough to have friends over without being supervised really closely, have them in another room where you can still hear and be aware while still having quiet time.
• Do not try to parent like an extrovert and always (physically) be there 24/7. While family time is important, and yes parenting is a 24/7 job, alone time is important, too.
• Hopefully you have a job where you get to work alone most of the time, or with few people. Allow this to be your refuge. I used to love working alone up in the photo lab with no one there but me, myself and I. We had great conversations.
• It actually helps to have the television and radio off. For some reason even added noise to a room all ready full of people can add to my exhaustion.

The end result is this; while spending quality time with your child(ren) is extremely important, so is self-care.

Just like bathing, exercising and Friday date nights are important, so is quiet alone time.

Do you consider yourself to be an introvert or an extrovert? And does it affect your parenting?

Thanks,

　

The Importance of Friends, And Why I Don't Have Any

Making Friends Is Hard:

 

My Friends and I - 2011

One of my biggest challenges right now as a young mom is making friends who I can not only get along with well, but relate to on some level.

The women who are close to my age (between 20 and 25) either do not have children, or they’re just starting to have children. So, they’re either out partying and in college, working a full-time job, or changing poopy diapers and playing peek-a-boo. For reasons unknown I feel like we’re on completely different maturity levels, or just simply in different phases at the moment.

Then the mothers who have children close to Sidney’s age are much older than me. I have tried talking to mother’s at Sidney’s school, and before at play groups, but there were no clicks - we had nothing in common.

I spend most of my time by myself during the day, which is fine and I actually like it. But then there are times when I would love to just go out for coffee with a friend, or hang out with someone while our kids can play together, and most of all have someone I can talk to (other than Nick and my Mom).

When I do go out it’s usually with my Grandma or my Mom. Sometimes I hang out with my sisters, but not very often. Then there is the very odd time I do go out with my friends from high school, but it’s usually after Sidney has gone to bed and it’s for an hour or two - or it’s a special occasion like a birthday, or New Year’s Eve.

I knew when I was pregnant at 17 years old that I probably wouldn’t have as many friends after I became a mother, and it was true. Turns out most of those people weren’t my friends anyway, and I wasn’t all that heartbroken to lose contact, even if I was bored at times.

I kind of took friendship for granted at that time. I was so busy being a mom and a wife that I didn’t really miss my friends. Then for a while I was hanging out with different friends quite often. They would stop by for dinner, or coffee. We would walk to the park and play with Sidney, and talk. Then all of a sudden everyone got too busy for us. The tables have turned now.

I feel that having friends and a social life is important, but how does someone like me, a young mom, meet friends? I don’t have a job where I’m introduced to new people. I’m currently not in school. We don’t go to play groups any more, and for the next couple months Sidney’s not in any after school activities.

Besides, even when I did have a job, was in school and going to playgroups or activities I never made any friends.

What’s a young mom supposed to do?

Thanks,

Little Shop of Hemp - Now Open on Etsy!

I Opened My Second Etsy Shop:

I did it! I opened my new Etsy shop yesterday, Little Shop of Hemp, where I will be selling my handmade hemp jewelry and accessories. As of right now I only have a few items posted, but over the next few days I will be adding more.
 

Why Hemp Jewelry?

 

Hemp is a really great material. It's environmentally friendly, vegan, strong and long lasting, and very comfortable to wear. Plus, the design possibilities are endless! I have a hard time deciding what to sell and what to keep for myself. What I really adore about hemp is that it can look really casual, or funky or even beautiful.

 

And it's nerve racking when you put yourself out there. And by yourself I mean your creative work which is like a part of you. I don't know if anyone will like my stuff, or if anyone will even buy anything but for some reason I just felt like I had to do it.

 

I'm finally learning to push myself out of my comfort zone.

 

Thanks for taking the time to check this out!

Growing Up and Moving Forward

Young Mom Growing Up:

Growing Up


I consider myself incredibly lucky. 

I've been able to (mostly) stay at home to raise my daughter since she was born. I have had odd jobs over the past three years, but for the most part I have been a stay at home mom. 

I was there to watch her first steps, 
hear her first words, 
comfort her through her first cold and 
raise her myself the way I wanted to. 

Not a lot of parents get that opportunity. A lot usually have to go back to work after their maternity leave is over within a year, but because I was a teen mom (and a high school dropout) I didn't have to worry about that. 

I'm not saying it was easy. 

We had our financial struggles but to me time spent with my daughter was more important than money spent on her, as long as she had everything she needed (and she did). 

While I enjoy working outside of the home part-time simply to get out of the house and interact with other people who aren't family, I just can't stand the thought of a full-time job away from Sidney. That's why I've been trying to find ways to make money from home, like so many other parents. But that takes time.

Now I have to face reality. 

I need to make more money, which means I need to find a job. 

On Wednesday I went to find out about college funding and if I'm eligible for living allowance while I am in school. This will pretty much determine how the next year goes. If all goes well I will be attending college this September. If not I have to look into a part-time program and hit the pavement for that dreadful full-time employment. Let's root for option 1!

Yes, college will take up a lot of my time. I'll either be in classes or doing homework but I know I'll be working towards something better. 

It's very scary, and very exciting and when I think about it too much I feel an anxiety attack building inside of me. Will I go to school? Or will I have to get a job? These thoughts can consume me if I let them.

So I try to push it out of my mind and try to focus on other things. Simply because I won't know the answer until later. Still, I can't help but obsess and clench my jaw, and give myself a headache!

Do you ever stress yourself out over things you have no control over?

Thanks, 

My Bad Temper And Feeling Guilty

I lost my temper this morning.

Yesterday the school had sent a letter home saying the teachers would be on strike today, and there would be no school. So I let my daughter stay up a half hour later than usual. However, early this morning I found out that teacher's were no longer going on strike and that students were expected to go to school. 

Sidney was really tired when I woke her up, and disappointed because I made the mistake of telling her last night she was going to get to stay home today. This made for a really cranky little girl. She was giving me attitude, whipping her shirt in my face while I tried to dress her and screaming at me. 

I completely lost my temper. No matter what I said or tried I couldn't get her to listen or treat me with respect. 

She ended up being late for school, and we parted angry and upset with one another. This is the first time I have sent her off to school feeling that way and now I don't feel angry, just childish and sick to my stomach. I feel so guilty, and unworthy of forgiveness. I'm the parent here, right? Why didn't I act like it? 

I definitely need to refresh my memory on how to deal with this type of behaviour properly, and push my own tiredness away the next time.

In the mean time though, I get to pick Sidney up in ten minutes and all I want to do is hug her so tight, and never let her go and to apologize over and over again.

Does anyone else ever have days like this? Do other parents lose their temper, and feel quilty afterwards?

Thanks,

9 Teen Mom Stereotypes, Part Three

7-9 Teen Mom Stereotypes

Stereotype: “a set of inaccurate, simplistic generalizations about a group that allows others to categorize them and treat them accordingly”

This is Part 3 of my list of 9 Teen Mom Stereotypes. You can read 1-3 here, and 4-6 here.

Teen Mom's Families Disown Them

It was during pregnancy that my family and I grew closer. I began to respect my mom more, and looked up to her as a role model. I started spending time with my family, and they quickly became my support system.

My mom was thrilled to help me with Sidney. My dad was proud to be a grandfather. They all believed in me, and that I could still succeed.

Same goes for my friends who were teen moms.

I’m not saying there aren’t teen moms who have been disowned, because there are probably a lot. I just don’t know any, personally.

Teen moms are too immature and inexperienced to properly raise a child

Okay, okay, so maybe I was immature and inexperienced when I got pregnant but by the time Sidney was born I was a whole new person.

I never thought I could become the person that I did. I never knew I had that in me. I went through my high school days thinking I was insignificant, stupid and worthless. Sidney gave me a reason for living, a reason to succeed and motivated me to become a better person.

I’ve noticed this in a lot of my friends. After they found out they were pregnant they changed their entire lives around. If they weren’t already responsible and experienced they quickly became those things.

Teen moms on welfare are lazy

I had to go on welfare once. It really sucked because the amount of money they give you is barely anything. You can’t even afford an apartment unless it’s a grungy bachelor apartment, or you’re lucky enough to stay with family or friends. I was fortunate enough to move back in with my parents and pay them rent, otherwise I don’t know what I would have done!

Teen moms on welfare are more motivated, because who wants to live off $900 a month when the average two bedroom apartment costs $850? Unless you’re fortunate enough to get a subsidized apartment or townhouse (which is a two year waiting list, on average), you’re screwed.

However, welfare helps young mothers graduate high school, puts them in work training programs and gives them resources to become successful. They also point you in the direction to get any other type of assistance you need whether it’s diapers, baby clothes, Christmas gifts, or food. It's a good option when you don't have any others, and most of the young mothers I know who have been, or are on welfare have taken advantage of these programs and were able to find better employment.

Yes, I’m sure some young mothers cheat the system (in fact I know some do), but so do a lot of other people.

Teen moms are just like any other person in society. Some are good, some are bad. Some will graduate high school, some won’t. Some will continue to post-secondary, others won’t. Some will become rich, others will remain in poverty. Some will stay with their baby’s daddy, others will split up. You can say the same things about any type of person, no matter what their situation is or their age.

And to be perfectly honest, before I became a teen mom myself I had a lot of misinterpreted assumptions of them, too.

What’s your opinion on teen moms?

Thanks,

Free Ebooks For Kindle

Free Ebooks?!

 

I love reading! I love reading a lot! 

So I absolutely love it when I can get free ebooks for Kindle Cloud Reader. 

A great site that lets you know when certain ebooks are up for free is eReaderGirl. Keep in mind that a lot of these books are aimed at women, especially mothers. 

Recently I got some craft books, recipe books, books time management, reducing stress, and a lot more through her site! 

So if you're an avid reader, check it out and maybe you will find some awesome free ebooks you like!

Thanks,

A List of Winter Break Activities For Kids

What To Do With Kids Over Winter?

With Sidney off of school for the next two weeks I've been busy trying to come up with fun activities to do. Unfortunately, I can't spend a ton of money so we are limited. However, our region has a strong focus on family and offers many enjoyable things to do with your kids. 

I know first hand that a lot of young moms aren't exactly rich. We are dealing with school,  starting a career, saving for a house and our children's college funds plus so much more. Money is tight, but we still want to enjoy our time with our little ones while they are young. So hopefully you can get some ideas out of my list and even though a lot of my listed activities are specific to the region we live, in your city might have similar programs. All you have to do is look it up online.

Things we might do that cost us basically nothing:

• Free skating at the mall (my mom bought Sid skates for $2 at the thrift store)
• Free skating at Central Park downtown
• Drop-in craft program at the library
• Rent a movie from the library (popcorn and juice is the only money we'll be spending on this!)
• Play at McDonald's indoor playground (costs me the price of a coffee and hot chocolate)
• A trip down to the farmer's market (spending money is optional, however I can't turn down delicious food - especially local produce!)
• Tobogganing (if we even get snow! Haven't seen much yet.)
• Play at the park, all wrapped up nice and warm
• Baking at home
• Walk the trails through Riverside park and feed the birds
• Playing with all our new Christmas toys of course!

Things we might do that cost us a little more:

• Drop in pottery class ($10)
• Indoor playground ($5 on Tuesdays)
• Indoor mini-golf ($5 each = $10)
• Region Museum all day pass ($5 for Sid, $10 for me = $15)

Things we might do that cost more:

• Tubing ($20 each = $40)
• Movies (about $10 each plus popcorn = $30)

There is a lot more around here we can do, but we only have two weeks and our funds are limited. I try to find and think up as many amusing things that are free, or cost very little. 

What are some things you like to do with the kids over the holidays/winter?

Thanks, 

PS - Because Sidney is on winter break now, I might not get around to blogging as much for the next two weeks.

Dealing With In Store Tantrums

Sidney March 2012

Sometimes my daughter gets really hyper, and it seems like she gets more hyper than most other children I know. Usually it’s a happy hyper where she just wants to run around giggling and singing and acting silly. But she also gets an attitude going now and then that seems impossible to deal with, especially when she doesn't get what she wants. She’ll make faces at me, cross her arms and stomp her foot, run away screaming or laughing - just to get on my nerves. It feels like there is just no reasoning with her at these times. 

• I've tried bribing her, 
• rewarding her and praising her when she’s good, 
• time outs when she won’t listen. 
• I've tried to make “deals” with her.
• I've talked to her about how we need to respect each other 
• because we love one another. 
• I've yelled, 
• I've taken her toys away, 
• didn't let her have dessert. 
• I've threatened to call Santa (it used to work…).
• I've sat down calmly and tried talking to her, 
• but still she is just stubborn. 

When We’re Out At Stores

For example, we like to go thrift shopping a lot with my mom and niece. Particularly at this one store that’s a two minute drive from our house. And most of the time we leave with me carrying her out kicking and screaming because I wouldn't let her get another junk toy. I know it’s only $2 or $3, but why does she need another Barbie horse when she’s already got an entire crate full? Why another stuffed animal when she’s got a basket full? Why any more toys when it’s a month away from Christmas and a month after her birthday? 

I've never spoiled her. I've never let her get away with this, yet she still kicks and screams and stomps her feet and yells “You’re being mean and unfair!” And her screaming is LOUD! It’s like this high pitched squealing sound as if she’s being kidnapped and everyone in the store can hear her and is staring at me. It’s actually really embarrassing! 

But still, I hold strong, keep to my rules and never give in to her tantrums. I’m hoping she’ll outgrow this eventually. For now, I just have to keep trying (key word: try) to hold my temper. 

What I Find Works For Us … Sometimes

The times we’re able to leave the thrift store peacefully are maybe two times out of ten and those are such nice times. I have a few methods that will work every now and then. Typically it begins with talking to her before we go out. I don’t do all of these at once, it’s usually one or the other.

• I let her know at home that we’re going out to the thrift store and she’s not allowed to get any toys.
• That if she’s on her best behaviour she can get a book, or a dress.
• That I might let her get a new toy if she donates an old one she no longer plays with (can you believe it’s hard to even get rid of her toys without a tantrum?).
• That she can’t get anything today, but possibly next time.
• I will give her a toonie and tell her that’s all she has to spend, that she can’t get anything that’s more than $1.99 whether she chooses a book, movie, toy, game or dress.
• That if she acts up we’ll leave straight away and she won’t be allowed to go the next time.

I pretty much always keep my word, too. But like I said, it only works sometimes. Why do I even take her there? Because I love thrift shopping, I love spending time with my mom and niece and because Sidney needs to learn (clearly the hard way) that she can’t have everything she wants when she wants it - even if it’s taking her a long time to learn that.

The weird thing is, she’s always on such good behaviour at any other store, restaurant or other outing. It’s only the thrift store. I want to blame my Grandma and my mom for that… They always let her get something when they go out thrift shopping, but I’ll pretend I didn't just write that (sorry mom).

What can you do? Move on, stay strong and love ’em anyway.

How do you deal with your child’s tantrums? Do you have this problem when out at a specific store?

Thanks, 

9 Teen Mom Stereotypes, Part Two

Stereotype: “a set of inaccurate, simplistic generalizations about a group that allows others to categorize them and treat them accordingly”

This is Part 2 of my list of 9 Teen Mom Stereotypes. You can read 1-3 here. 

4-6 Teen Mom Stereotypes

Teen moms are single

This stereotype plays true for a lot of teen moms. It would be wrong to say that high school sweethearts will stay together forever. It would be wrong to say that anyone at any age will stay together forever. In today’s society most parent’s are divorced or separated. 

Even so, not all teen moms are single. Some even stay with their child’s father. In fact, my boyfriend Nick and I have been together since I was 16 years old. Our six year anniversary is coming up in February. I know just as many teen moms who are with their baby daddies as I do teen moms who are separated. 

Teen moms are bad mothers

Anyone can be a bad mother, regardless of age. Everyone will sometimes feel like a bad mother, regardless of age. Parenting is one of the most highly judged topics. Everyone has different opinions on what is good parenting, and what’s not. 

But what I’m talking about here is that people assume that a teen mom will be a bad mother in general. Not always true. 

When I became a pregnant, I didn't know a thing about being a mother, but I quickly learned. I ran out and bought What to Expect when You’re Expecting, What to Expect the First Year, What to Expect the Toddler Years, and took out any other parenting book I could. I signed up for babycenter.ca's newsletters.  I researched the best ways to discipline a two year old, when they should start solids, what foods to avoid, sleeping schedules, best baby products. I researched until my brain was about to burst with knowledge. I never assumed once that I knew what I was doing. I would research different sources that had different opinions and advice and try to figure out which one was the best advice for me and Sidney. And a lot of young parents I know did the same thing. Not to mention, we all had our parents support and advice, too.

To say that just because someone is younger automatically makes them a bad parent is wrong. If teenagers are so horrible at taking care of children, then why are so many of them babysitters? 

It is true that some teenagers turn out to be bad mothers. You hear in the news all the time about it, and on television shows but those are worse case scenarios. The media rarely talks about anything good.

Teen moms will never go to post-secondary school

 My friend is in her third year of college and she has a three year old daughter. My other friend just started a Practical Nursing program this year with a two year old. I’m looking into post-secondary school right now for next September. My sister is also a young mom, she had her daughter when she was 19, and she’s looking into a hairstyling program. Having a child doesn’t mean that post-secondary school is not an option. It just means you have some figuring out and planning to do that other teens and twenty something year olds don’t. 

Before I had Sidney I didn’t even seriously consider college. I thought I might go, but probably not. I wasn’t a very motivated person, money never appealed to me the way it did to others. After I had Sidney, money had a whole new meaning, and a successful career became a top priority. If anything, having Sidney motivated me to want to graduate post-secondary school. 

It all comes down to the individual and what they deem important. Becoming a parent when you’re a teenager makes life a little more difficult then if you’re already graduated, or starting your career. Money becomes an issue, school becomes an issue and your social life becomes an issue but just because you have different problems, or different priorities doesn’t mean  you’re destined for failure, will be an awful parent or doomed to remain single. It just means your problems and priorities are different, but every parent faces their own problems and chooses their own priorities at any age. 

Thanks, 

Metric Concert!

http://ilovemetric.com/

Last night my hubby Nick and I went to see Metric at the ACC (Air Canada Center) in Toronto. Metric has been one of my favourite bands for a few years now, and I finally got to see them play live! And to be honest, it was everything I had hoped for. 

Emily Haines was so energetic, so talented and so entertaining. The lighting was awesome to watch, but not too blinding like some other concerts I’ve been to. Everything was just perfect! 

I think it’s important to go out every now and then with your significant other, child free, no friends or family. Nick and I don’t do it very often, but when we do it’s nice to be able to sit down and catch up on everything. Just getting out of the city took a lot of the pressure off my shoulders that has been building up. I felt like I could breathe again (even in the big(ger) city). 

• We got into Toronto shortly after five o’clock, and there was no traffic! 
• We managed to find a parking spot right nearby. 
• It was only a five minute walk to a nice Irish pub where we had dinner,
• then walked a bit further to another enjoyable pub for a couple drinks. 
• We found our seats easily, which were pretty good seats! 
• Our seats were on the end, so we didn’t have to squeeze past anyone, I hate having to squeeze past people. 
• And luckily we only had a couple sitting directly in front of us, and they weren’t standing and jumping around like the rest of the crowd so we could stay sitting, too. 

Sometimes things just work out amazingly, and last night was one of those nights. It felt so good to be able to go out and enjoy ourselves. It’s not very often I buy myself anything, but I’m sure glad I bought those concert tickets on a whim during the summer. I guess now and then you have to spoil yourself.

Thanks, 

The Young Mommy Life Blog

I've recently started following The Young Mommy Life written by Tara Pringle Jefferson.

This is an excellent blog because it's honest, it's real and it's informative. When I read this blog I don't feel insignificant any more. I feel like I'm not alone.

Yesterday I downloaded one of her books on Kindle through Amazon titled "Make it Happen: The Young Mommy Guide to Creating a Career You Crave" 

I've been fighting with myself. One part wants to think rationally and go to college for something that will guarantee me a job. The other half wants to follow my dreams and go to school for Journalism and work on becoming a writer. It can be scary to follow your dreams when you have someone else depending on you, someone who needs you to succeed.

This book is very inspirational, has excellent tips and is well worth the $2.99 that it costs.

Tara Jefferson does an excellent job convincing me that I can become a professional writer through her own experiences and advice. She talks about following your dreams, budgeting to save money, thriving at your job, how to take care of yourself, branding yourself, a list of useful resources and much more. 

Take the time to look through her blog, it's really interesting! 

What are some of your favourite parenting blogs?

Thanks, 

Dealing With Head Lice

This is embarrassing to admit, but every parent deals with it at some point. Over the weekend I discovered head lice on my daughter. I had noticed her scratching profusely and sure enough when I looked near her roots around her ears I saw a couple eggs, and after some searching a louse.

At first I didn't want to tell my daughter about it. I was just going to pick through her hair and keep it a secret. However, I changed my mind. I wanted to let her know about it, to explain what it was, why it was there and how to prevent it. I also didn't want her to think I would let her stay home from school for no reason. 

I had my head checked, no lice. Sidney asked me why she had lice and I didn't. I told her it was because her hair was so beautiful, shiny and clean that they thought it made a lovely home. Plus I just dyed my hair a few days ago... If there was anything the hair dye chemicals probably killed them. 

When I was buying the lice shampoo kit from the drug-mart I was really embarrassed. It was really busy at the store, and I was trying to hide my purchase. Lice don't spread disease, they're just harmless but annoying insects that live on scalps but nobody wants to get them. Who would? So when someone sees or hears that you have lice they avoid you, judge you, make fun of you. That's why I told Sidney not to tell anyone she has it.

Head lice shouldn't be something to be ashamed of though. Most children in elementary schools or childcare facilities will get it at some point. Even if you ignore that part, there's still the pain in the butt with getting rid of them! Vacuuming, washing, drying, cleaning brushes and combs, shampooing and picking through hair. It's a lot of work to get rid of these! Then Sidney has to miss more school. She missed three days last week when she was sick, now this. 

Oh well, such is life! (Besides I kind of enjoyed our time together yesterday!)

After picking through Sidney's hair multiple times in the past couple of days, I think I have managed to get everything. The past two times I wasn't able to find even an egg, so that's good!

Anyway, if you're ever unfortunate enough to have to deal with this (which is quite likely), here's some resources that helped me:

• http://www.caringforkids.cps.ca/handouts/head_lice
• http://kidshealth.org/parent/infections/common/head_lice.html
• http://www.gov.ns.ca/hpp/publications/head_lice_guidelines_for_treatment.pdf

What are your best tips for dealing with head lice?

Thanks, 

9 Teen Mom Stereotypes, Part One

Christina & Faith - 2008

Stereotype: “a set of inaccurate, simplistic generalizations about a group that allows others to categorize them and treat them accordingly”

Having been a teen mom myself I am very passionate about this topic. I know what it feels like to be judged, and looked down upon for inaccurate judgements. People assume that because you had a child at a young age that you have ruined your life, or perhaps you had it coming. While some of these stereotypes are true for some teen moms, that doesn’t mean they’re true for all teen moms.

So, I made my own personal list of my top 9 teen mom stereotypes that I have had to deal with. I’m going to do this in a three part series simply because the original post was too long.

1 - 3 Teen Mom Stereotypes:

Teen moms are high school dropouts

I dropped out of high school when I had my daughter at the age of 17. However, while this was true for me, and many others, I do know people who were able to stay in high school after they had a baby and graduate on time. Typically it was because they had family at home to help. 

Out of those who did drop out, almost all of them graduated at a later time either through correspondents or at an Adult Learning Center, or both like I did. Every teen mom I’ve met seems to have at least one of the same goals; graduate high school. 

Maybe back in the day most teen moms were destined never to graduate, but these days we have options and the motivation to follow through.

It took my longer than if I didn’t have a baby, but early this year I received my high school diploma and I am proud of that, even if it wasn’t “on time”.

Teen moms are promiscuous or into drugs

This could be true for a number of high school kids, including teen moms. Obviously it’s not true for everyone. In fact, as awkward as it is to say, I got pregnant my very first time having sex and I am still with that same person. So, no, we’re not all easy lays. 

As far as drugs go, I never really got into them. Okay, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t smoke, you know, the ganja when I was younger. I never got into hard drugs. To be honest, I probably would have if I didn’t get pregnant! After becoming pregnant I weeded out a lot of my friends and those friends were into drugs. None of them are parents…

Teen moms live in poverty

I can see why this is a stereotype… It’s not like I’m rich or anything. I don’t think I’m doomed to live in poverty though. As of right now, I am heavily dependent on my family (which sucks), but it wasn’t always this way. By dependent I mean I live at their house, and they help out financially by not charging us rent or grocery money.

When my boyfriend and I found out we were expecting, he immediately went out to look for a good paying job, and luckily my dad was able to get him one. My boyfriend made more money than some of the older adults that we know (including my mom at the time). We were able to buy a car by the time Sidney was born. A year later we saved enough money to rent an apartment and fully furnish it all at once. We lived comfortably in a good neighbourhood.

And this is true for a lot of young parents I know. They have their own apartments, or houses. They have their own cars, and jobs. Their children are in swimming lessons, ballet or gymnastics. They dress stylish, and have everything they need plus more. 

I feel that becoming a mother at a young age made me more responsible with money. I never got the chance to spoil myself with designer clothes, manicures and $100 haircuts. I learned quickly how to cut back on groceries, find the best deals and save money. Even now while Nick and I are looking into school options, making a quarter of what we used to, we can still afford all our bills, and put Sidney in different activities. I have savings accounts for Sidney and myself, and we have a payment plan to pay down our debt. Other than that, we don’t have much money for anything else right now. 

But like I said, we’re looking into post-secondary schools which will lead to better paying jobs. We do not live in poverty, and will not live in poverty. 

Thanks, 

Christmas Parade

Christmas Parade 2009

Tonight is the Christmas parade, and I'm not there. I can't help but feel guilty about it (I actually cried for a little bit), but what can I do? 

Some how I've managed to get strep throat and my whole body is feeling it. My throat hurts, my muscles hurt, I have a headache and I feel slightly disoriented when standing for too long. 

It came about last night. My mom and I were out shopping with the Sidney and her cousin Faith, when I started to feel really awful. By 10 p.m. last night I knew I was sick. This morning I realized I had strep throat, but the muscle aches and headaches were gone so I showered and dressed and went out with my mom and the kids again for some more Christmas shopping. Well, that was a bad idea because now I feel awful again and I have to miss the parade. 

To be honest, Christmas parades really aren't that fun. It's cold outside, we never get a good view, they last forever and by the end of it the kids are tired and cranky, but I still hate missing out on it. I love seeing how excited Sidney is throughout the parade, especially when Santa and Mrs. Claus go by. 

I'm just glad her Daddy took her along with her Aunt and cousin. At least she's not missing out. And even though I feel bad for not going, I know Sidney doesn't mind. I was going to try and go, but I was too irritable and my grumpiness would have ruined it. I'm also a little bit sad about not being able to get pictures... Another blank spot in my family albums lol.

Is it just me who feels guilty over simple things? Or is it a mom thing? 

Thanks, 

This is Not a Bragging Blog

Sidney at the Library - 2010

I've been following blogs for a while now. One of the topics I like to read about is parenting. However, I find that there are a lot of parenting blogs written by mothers who just talk about how perfect their lives, themselves and their children are. Whether their posts are honest or they only write about the good stuff (most likely), those blogs from time to time leave me in a bad mood and make me feel insignificant as a mother. Other times I do stumble upon great advice and good ideas, so they’re not all bad lol.

Well, this is not one of those blogs. 

I’m just an honest person, writing my experiences as a young mom. I’m someone who makes mistakes and most of the time learns from them. I struggle as a mother every day, wondering if each decision made is the right one.

• I’m an impatient person, 
• especially when we’re running late (which is often). 
• I forget things, 
• I accidentally break promises, 
• I lose my temper, 
• I get depressed,
• I let my daughter eat junk food 
• and sometimes we get bored and go stir-crazy.

Do these things make me a bad person, or worse a bad mother?

I sometimes feel that they do.

• But I also sit down and do crafts, 
• take Sidney to the library, 
• the movie theatre, 
• the museum 
• and community events. 

We go on nature walks and discuss the different things we see. I have taught her to love animals, and respect them. She listens and behaves (most of the time) when we’re out shopping, or at a restaurant. She’s an excellent student who loves to draw and write. All her classmates and teachers adore her, as well as family and friends.

Here’s the thing though; I don’t want to just write about the good stuff. I want to discuss problems I face as a parent, and a young one at that. I want other moms to know that we’re not all perfect (well nobody is, they’re just good at faking it). 

I want this to be a blog where I can openly, and honestly talk about the stuff other people are too scared to admit, because it’s okay to admit we’re not perfect. I don't want this blog to be a brag-fest, a competition or a story about my "perfect" life. 

So let's just be honest with one another, and support each other. Okay?

What are some things you feel you could do better as a parent? What are some things you do amazingly as a parent?

Thanks,