Top 3 Reasons I'm Scared to Start College

September will be here soon, and with fall like weather comes school. It’s officially one week until my College orientation. I am beyond nervous. I’m actually quite frightened.

There's a lot about starting school that has me freaked out, but here are my top three reasons:

1. Childcare: This has been a huge concern for me. If I’m being completely honest I really haven’t been away from my daughter very much since she’s been born, when I was 17. The odd part-time job that was no more than 30 hours a week; that time I went back to school for 6 weeks to get my high school diploma; and I only kept a full-time job for three months before quitting to spend more time at home with Sidney.

Luckily my timetable is pretty awesome. None of my classes begin before 11AM so I know I will always be there to drop her off at school. My Grandma has agreed to pick her up after school and babysit her until Nick gets home from work. In reality, I shouldn’t be at all worried because my Grandma has always babysat for us whenever I worked or went to school. Yet, I’ve never had to rely on someone else to pick her up, or to be there if she gets sick and needs to go home early.

 

If I want to chase my dreams I’m going to have to learn to trust other people to care for my baby.

2. Workload: I haven’t been in school full-time since I was 16 and that was 7 years ago now! I managed to get my high school diploma through correspondence and a 6 week afternoon course through an adult learning center – it was easy. Knowing I will have 6 classes, four days a week, at a college level with homework and assignments on top of my personal hobbies (such as blogging) and family life seems almost impossible.

Even though I’m stressing myself out thinking about it, I know that when the time comes I will surprise myself. I often do. Like when I had to start work at 7AM, which sounds like hell to a night owl like myself, but I did it and I loved it. Or when I was forced to do a presentation for D3 Artworks Inc. in front of the Grand River Film Festival committee. I was a sweaty, nervous mess minutes before it was my turn to take the stage but once I was up there I managed to get through my speech just fine and everyone was able to hear me (big surprise because I’m very soft spoken!).

I clearly need to trust myself more, too.

3. Making Friends: You may have or may not have noticed I don’t blog about going out with friends, ever. The reason for that is, I don’t have many friends. And the ones I do have I don’t see very often. I’m an introvert in every way. I enjoy my alone time, I enjoy being quiet. Normally I have no problems with my introverted ways, but I want to get everything I can from college which also means meeting new people, making new friends and networking. It’s never been easy for me to go up and talk to someone new, I’m not just an introvert but I’m extremely shy. Sometimes when I think about having to do group assignments I get really worked up over it. What if no one wants to be partnered up with me? Silly, I know, to make such a big deal out of something so simple but I’m sure many quiet, shy, self-conscious or introverted person might be able to relate.

For these three reasons I’m having a difficult time keeping my cool. For the past two weeks I’ve been experiencing heart burn and now my chin is covered in stress acne.

I think it’s normal to be nervous though. I just have to figure out ways to deal with this stress appropriately.

What are some things that make/made going to school, or starting a new job scary for you? How do/did you cope with attending college/university for the first time? Or maybe even a new job?

Thanks,
Cole

Being An Introvert And How It Affects Parenting

My Experience As An Introverted Parent:



Quiet Time

First of all, I think it’s important to explain what exactly an introvert is and to debunk some of the myths.

In simple terms an introvert is a person who becomes energized by being alone, and exhausted by external stimulation - being around other people. They enjoy thinking, exploring their thoughts and feelings. Introverts are not always shy, stuck up, anti-social, loners, nerds or weird.

While I am shy, and probably very weird, I am also an introvert. That’s just my personality.

For the longest time I actually thought something was incredibly wrong with me. How was it that I could literally, and physically feel drained after being around other people? Why did talking with people at work, and school and even my own family and friends make me feel so tired? And being alone doing the same things make me feel energized? I noticed this happening, but I didn’t know there was a term for it, and that other people also experienced this.

Then I learned I’m an introvert and there’s nothing I can do about that.

My real concern is, how does being an introvert affect parenting? I’d be lying if I said Sidney didn’t tire me out. And living at my parents house again, being around more people, tires me out even more.

It’s hard to explain I guess. While I absolutely love my daughter, and adore spending time with her, there are days when I would love to just be alone.

To make things even more difficult, my husband and child both appear to be extroverts. Sidney is constantly demanding my attention. She doesn’t understand why mommy would ever want alone time, because she hates to be alone.

So I started to do some research on parenting as an introvert. I got some great tips to meet both my introvert needs, and my child’s extrovert needs.

• Make sure your child gets lots of time with other people whether it’s a playgroup, with family, or after school activities.
• Thank goodness for school, and that my daughter can spend a major part of her day with a classroom full of other people - if you work at home, enjoy the quiet while it’s there.
• Take the time to be alone and don‘t allow yourself to feel guilty - you will be a better parent this way because you will be more energized and happy.
• Have your spouse spend some quality time with your child so that you can have some time to yourself, whether it’s to read a book, take a bath or simply sit and think.
• If you have to, hire a babysitter and instead of going out with other people, go out alone for a couple hours.
• Skip the busy, crowded gym and workout at home alone - walking, jogging, yoga.
• If your child is old enough to have friends over without being supervised really closely, have them in another room where you can still hear and be aware while still having quiet time.
• Do not try to parent like an extrovert and always (physically) be there 24/7. While family time is important, and yes parenting is a 24/7 job, alone time is important, too.
• Hopefully you have a job where you get to work alone most of the time, or with few people. Allow this to be your refuge. I used to love working alone up in the photo lab with no one there but me, myself and I. We had great conversations.
• It actually helps to have the television and radio off. For some reason even added noise to a room all ready full of people can add to my exhaustion.

The end result is this; while spending quality time with your child(ren) is extremely important, so is self-care.

Just like bathing, exercising and Friday date nights are important, so is quiet alone time.

Do you consider yourself to be an introvert or an extrovert? And does it affect your parenting?

Thanks,