Monday, September 30, 2013

Weekly Wishes #7 Blogging + School

I haven't done a Weekly Wishes post in a while, but I feel like it's about time to get back into it. Having a weekly goal has seemed to be helpful, even with my Life Makeover goals going on at the same time.
 
For this week I want to go out and finally buy a backpack, one that is large enough to carry all of my books and my gigantic laptop! I can't believe it's already one month into school and I still haven't bought one yet.
 
As of right now I have been using the bag I used back in grade 10 - which was in 2006! It's very uncomfortable carrying my overloaded bag on my shoulder and it would be much better for my health to have a backpack.

Also, I want to get into the habit of bringing my laptop to school with me in the mornings. I arrive at school about 2 hours before my first class and usually I spend this time reviewing my notes, reading newspapers and trying to amuse myself. However, I often have about an hour of doing nothing and it would make more sense to spend that time blogging. Blogging is something I am passionate about, but as of lately my posts seem rushed and sloppy, which isn't good.
 
Other than that, I need to continue to work on my monthly Life Makeover goals and learn to love myself. These things are completely necessary.
 
What are you goals this week?
 
Thanks,
Cole

Friday, September 27, 2013

Week 3 Review of The Life Makeover

 
 
Time goes by too fast. I haven't updated since my Week 1 Review. So here's a bit of an update!

It's been three weeks since I decided my life needed a complete makeover and started working on some small changes.

So far I haven't noticed much difference in my life. I feel like I need to get out more, I feel like I need to get more organized and that I need to just do more. But, I'm only working on these goals right now.
 
September Goal Update Week 3:
 
Health: Well, so far I have just failed this one! I still have not picked up the exercise bike yet and if I'm being honest with myself, I probably won't any time soon. It's too hard to get around without a car! On the plus side, I do walk a lot.
 
Parenthood: My goal to maintain a good evening routine has been pretty successful so far. We manage to eat dinner, and get ready for bed just fine. And now that I have made Sidney a chore chart that includes bedtime, she's much more willing to go to bed and stay in bed. Recently I've been trying to do more fun activities in the evenings. On Thursdays I get home pretty early so we have more time together to do things. For example, today we went for a walk and collected leaves to use for crafts.
 
Relationships: Over the past year or so I haven't really spent any time with friends, or even family. I've secluded myself and I would like to start going out more. So far I've had my younger cousin and her boyfriend over once, my friend Sarah and I have gotten together a few times and I even went out with my other cousin last weekend. And I'm actually starting to get back in touch more with older friends, thanks to Facebook.
 
Home: I got two new end tables for free. I've changed Sidney's room around, and organized the big closet which is more like a storage unit. Still on the hunt for more furniture and such, but it takes time to find the perfect pieces.
 
Money: Errr... I did make a budget! A very loose budget, so that's probably not very good, but it's technically done... Yeah, I should fix it up more.
 
School: Maintaining good grades, handing in every assignment on time and arriving early every day. Assignments and tests are starting to pick up now so I really need to stay focused.

There's only a few more days left of September and I feel quite happy and confident with my progress so far.

However, October brings new and exciting adventures and I'm going to have to start thinking of new monthly goals. Seeing how things have changed, and reflecting on myself I have a few ideas of what needs to happen next. Time to mind-map again!

Thanks,
Cole

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Gratitude and Learning to Accept Myself

 
I've been dealing with a lot of changes, and emotions are stirring around in my head that I don't quite understand. Sometimes I feel like it's too personal to discuss on my blog, but I enjoy sharing myself on here. So this week on Grad-itude 101 I'm going to share how I'm trying to feel grateful for who I am and to accept myself.
 
Learning how to be grateful has had a huge impact on my life. I can now look around and see how truly lucky I am instead of always feeling like I don't have enough.
 
One of the biggest challenges I face in life is accepting myself. I often feel like I'm not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, talented enough, or whatever might apply to what I'm doing at the time.
 
For example, after I handed in my first news story to be graded I just kept hoping that I would at least pass. In my mind there was no way it would be good enough to even get more than a passing grade. I even talked to one of my classmates about it afterwards, and asked her for advice on how to write a news story considering she has experience. But when I got my news story back, I got a really nice surprise! And I was surprised, because I got 100%.
 
Even though I managed to get 100% on my first story, as I wrote my second news story and handed it in I kept thinking, "Man, I hope I at least pass. There's no way this is good enough to get more than a passing grade."
 
Well, I won't know for sure until later. But my point is, no matter what I'm doing I always feel like I'm going to fail and that I'm not good enough.
 
It's frustrating and I so badly want to at least like myself so I can become a better role model for Sidney and accomplish more in life. The way I see it, if you don't have confidence, you hold yourself back instead of pushing yourself forward because you constantly feel like you're going to fail. That's no way to live.
 
This week I'm going to write a gratitude list based on myself.
 
  1. I am grateful for my arms, hands and fingers that give me independence and allow me to do so many different things.
  2. I am grateful for my sight, so that I can see all of the beautiful things in this world, and all of my family and friends.
  3. I am grateful that I can hear music, and voices, and movies.
  4. I am grateful for my height, because I'm not too short and I'm not too tall.
  5. I am grateful that I am relatively healthy, and everything works good.
  6. I am grateful for my natural talent at drawing, which provides me with great pleasure.
  7. I am grateful that I have been getting really good grades in school so far.
  8. I am grateful for my sense of humour that allows me to laugh so often and at even the simplest things, because laughing is amazing.
  9. I am grateful that my teeth aren't too crooked even though I've never had braces.
  10. I am grateful to have the willpower to try and succeed no matter what.
This list took me a while to write. I had a difficult time coming up with things so I started with the basics, and the further I got down my list the more difficult it got but I refused to allow myself to lie.
 
How about you? What do you like about yourself?
 
Thanks,
Cole

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Art and Drawing

 
 
Last week I won a contest over at Daisy Bisley's blog! It arrived yesterday in the mail and I am really excited to start using my new pencils, drawing pens, ruler and sketch book! That is, if my daughter will let me. She kind of took over my sketch book and has been busy making her own artwork in it.
 
As much as I wanted to keep the sketchbook for myself, I couldn't stand the idea of not allowing her to draw in it.
 
Sidney loves drawing! She draws maybe 20 or more drawings every day. On the weekend she'll produce over 50 drawings. To say we go through a lot of paper is an understatement. It's a lot of paper, but why should I prevent her from expressing herself creatively?
 
I know from my own experience that art is an amazing hobby (or career if you're lucky ;) )!
 
Making an art piece takes a lot of work, discipline, concentration, creativity, skill and confidence. I'm not even exaggerating. If you have ever taken the time to complete a drawing, painting, sculpture, etc. you will know what I'm talking about.
 
Maybe later this week I will post some of the portraits I did at D3 Artworks Inc. And I hope to have some new drawings to share with you, too! Because I'm actually planning out a couple of tattoos I would like to get.
 
Do you enjoy art? What medium do you prefer?
 
Thanks,
Cole

Thursday, September 19, 2013

Changes Need to be Made


I realised something today.
 
While riding the bus to school I started thinking about who I am, and I realised that I don't exactly know who I am. I think that happens a lot when you're in a relationship for a long time. Whether it's with a significant other, or a best friend, or a family member - anyone you spend a lot of time with. You pick up little things here and there: hobbies, slang, mannerisms, opinions, etc.
 
Do you get what I'm saying?
 
And I realised that maybe I've picked up certain things on purpose because I don't really have good self esteem. It's difficult to say, but I have never had a good relationship with myself.
 
I feel like I'm always trying really hard to be something I'm not. And when I stop trying to be something I'm not, I withdraw from social interaction.

To say I'm confused is an understatement.

There are days when I feel confident and free to be myself - someone who is optimistic yet very negative, whiney, sarcastic and easily humoured by ridiculous things. I like to listen to the same song on repeat until I get sick of it, and I dance around like a fool over and over again. I like movies that make me think, that make me question humanity, and other times I just want to watch people getting killed in the cheesiest, goriest way possible. I like to laugh, I love to cry, and I enjoy being angry. Is that so wrong?

Then there are times when I stop to think about it, and I feel like no body likes those qualities in a person and I should change.

Whenever I try to change though, I get really frustrated. Sometimes I think I want to be someone completely different, and other times I absolutely love the way I am.

This has been an ongoing process for the past little while. It's so frustrating trying to be comfortable with who I am, to embrace my individuality and to accept myself. But it has to be done.

 
You are probably going to see a lot of changes around my blog as I learn more about myself and how to love who I am. And I will be sure to post more about this topic in the near future!
 
Thanks,
Cole

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

My Gratitude Journey From Pessimist to Almost Optimist

 
It's been a few weeks since I last linked up over at Erika's Grad-itude 101. These past few weeks have been kind of difficult for me for certain reasons, and I'm also doing my own little Life Makeover project that is much needed! However, I am super happy to get back into the gratitude link-up fun!
 
Gratitude is something I've been exploring for just over a year now. It's been a life changing experience for me and so I want to share how I first started learning about the benefits of gratitude, and how it's helped me.
 
Last summer while I was working at D3 Artworks Inc., I fell into a pretty bad depression. I had a ton of support from my co-workers, supervisors, friends and family but if you've ever experienced depression you know that sometimes other people just can't help you. I ended up seeing a doctor and got antidepressants which kept me neutral, but I wanted to feel happy, or even just content, not neutral. Sometimes neutral is worse than sadness, it's like you don't feel anything at all. You're just numb.
 
Finally, I realised that if I wanted to feel happy again I was going to have to do something about it.
 
So one day after work I went over to the public library and wandered around the self-help section. The first book to really jump out at me was The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. I had heard about The Secret before. I knew there was a DVD, and my mom tried to get me to listen to the audio CD a couple of years before, but I had brushed it off. All of a sudden I found myself curious about it.
 
Reading The Secret helped me to view life a little differently. Mind you, I don't believe that just thinking things will make them exist. I truly believe in working for things and such, but I took what it had said and applied it a little bit differently to my own life. I started thinking that things were possible.
 
But I needed more than that.
 
 
And then one day I came across another book by Rhonda Byrne called The Magic and it was exactly what I needed. This book talks a lot about gratitude! It's the reason I got into writing gratitude lists. It has 28 exercises for you to do in 28 days. Things like; writing gratitude lists, feeling thankful for what you do have, and appreciating the people who are in your life.
 
For months I carried it everywhere with me, along with a journal and a pen. After I completed the 28 days, I would still flip through it whenever I felt I needed some inspiration, or if I was having a bad day. It was my reminder to feel grateful.
 
I used to be the most pessimistic person I know. I'm not even kidding!
 
Now I'm optimistic. Most of the time.
 
But I can honestly say that I'm happy more often than sad, or angry, or upset in any way.
 
Do you practice gratitude? How did you get into practicing gratitude? Is it something new, or have you been doing it for a long time?
 
Thanks,
Cole

Monday, September 16, 2013

Don't Waste Your Money - Choosing a College Program

 
A friend of mine is considering going to post-secondary school but has no idea what she wants to take. So that got me thinking about why I chose Journalism, and how other people might decide on a program.
 
I think a lot of us have experienced that feeling of wanting to work towards a career but aren't sure exactly which direction to go in. But if you're going to spend thousands of dollars on school you want to make sure it is the right program. Too many people rush into college or university and end up dropping out, and get stuck with giant student loans they have to pay back and don't even get anything out of it!
 
Before I chose Journalism as my college program I considered so many different options. I like so many different things. Especially within the art/creative field.
 
I considered taking:
 
  • Graphic Design
  • Interior Decorating
  • Photography
  • Fine Arts
  • General Business (I still want to be an entrepreneur.)
 
It was when I worked at D3 Artworks Inc. that I really focused on choosing a program. In fact, it was a requirement at D3 (which is a government program to help youth find employment). The employees at D3 helped us in so many ways.
 
We had to:
 
  • Take personality tests
  • Mind-map
  • Research different schools and programs
  • And of course, do a lot of thinking!
 
Journalism is something I've always considered taking but I never saw myself having much of a future within that field because I've always been so shy. You can not be shy if you are a journalist. As a journalist you constantly have to put yourself out there; cold calling people, getting interviews, doing interviews, networking and connecting with the community.
 
Working at D3 really helped me get out of my comfort zone. They gave me support, and believed in me. Sometimes having at least someone tell you they believe in you is all it takes. If it's fear that's keeping you from deciding on a particular program, you need to face that fear. You can accept it, but know that you will have to work with it, and to overcome it if you want to succeed.
 
To be honest, I would like to take photography after I've graduated from my Journalism program! And I wouldn't mind taking a few business courses either. The fun thing about college is that you can keep going back as much as want, or are willing to pay for.
 
And, you might not even need post-secondary! Really think about it first. Can you teach yourself? Can you learn as you go? Can you find someone to mentor you?
 
For those of you who are in post-secondary right now, how did you decide on what to go for? Was it something you've always wanted to do? Did you start going for something else and then switch?
 
Let me know! I'm curious. :)
 
Thanks,
Cole

Friday, September 13, 2013

Week 1 Review of The Life Makeover


I've been working on my goals, slowly but confidently. With so many new projects coming up at school, it can feel overwhelming having to deal with my personal projects, too. But these projects are important to me, and they're important for me. For Sidney, too, because she is so greatly affected by every choice I make. Do you know how stressful it is knowing that you are not the only one affected by your decisions? It's tough!
 
Surprisingly, I'm managing much better than I ever thought I could.

You never know what you're capable of until you try it. That's something I'm constantly reminding myself, but it's true!
 
September Goal Update Week 1:
 
1. Health: I still have not picked up my exercise bike! Maybe this weekend? Even though this isn't part of my goal this month, I just want to say that I can really feel a difference in my health from the amount of walking I've been doing since school started!
 
2. Parenthood: Sidney and I have developed a comfortable evening routine. Not only that, but I've been making a conscious effort to be more patient, and to not skip any part of the routine because I'm too lazy or tired. That used to happen a lot. I'd feel tired and grumpy and so I would promise to read Sid double the bedtime stories the next night. It always made me feel guilty and I hate feeling guilty. Or sometimes I would decide to make Sidney's lunch in the morning, so I could relax sooner, but the next morning would be hectic and I'd curse myself for not doing it the night before. This week has been great though.
 
3. Relationships: Over the last little while I haven't done much with any of my friends. Since deciding this had to go on my Life Makeover list, I've made plans for Saturday and even messaged a friend I haven't seen in months. We're making plans to go to the movies sometime soon.
 
4. Home: My living room is slowly coming along. I have a little work space I've been putting together in the corner, which is something I wanted to do when we first moved in. But Nick claimed this spot for his music (guitar, amp, records, stereo, etc.) and so I settled my desk in the bedroom. Now this corner is all mine! Ha ha ha!
 
5. Money: Okay, this has proven to be the most difficult task so far! I did send out two resumes earlier this week, and will continue to browse job listings. Now the hardest part has been this damn budget! I bought a book (way to spend less, eh?) called Debt-Free Forever by Gail Vaz-Oxlade (from Til Debt Do Us Part! Love that show.), and I thought it would quickly show me how to make a quick budget. Turns out it's so much more complicated than that. This book has steps, and while I probably could skip ahead, I decided it was better to read through it and complete the activities in order. My budget might not get finished for a while, but I still have 17 days left and I want to do it right.
 
6. School: Like I mentioned in my Life Makeover introductory post, school is just on this list so it doesn't end up getting neglected as I move further along with my goals and get more involved. You'll be happy to hear that I have been early for every class since the beginning, and have handed in every (two) assignments in on time! Plus I've done all the reading ahead of schedule, and have even taken it upon myself to do extra assignments that are not required. I'm not bragging or anything, I just LOVE this program!
 
It's incredible how amazing I've felt this week. I'm excited to get up in the mornings and rarely sleep in! I love going to school early, and I love coming home. My apartment is slowly making it's way to how I want it to look, which has made it much more enjoyable around here.
 
And I have to say, going over my finances for the first time... ever... feels really good. It's scary at first, and the numbers are a bit shocking, but at least knowing what I owe gives me something to work with and that's good. Now to find out what I bring in... Hopefully that number is shocking in a good way. ;)
 
Yes, I'm still sad sometimes. It would be weird if I wasn't. But I'm practicing gratitude and being more optimistic. It's kind of like a fresh start, and I'm really glad that I started school at the same time. I think if I weren't in school I would be a complete train wreck over this breakup, but school keeps me focused and positive.
 
How's your week going? Have you managed to tackle any goals today?
 
Thanks,
Cole

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

The Life Makeover Plan

 
Any time a big life changing event happens to me (like breaking up with someone), I often do a lot of reflecting.
 
This is probably one of the biggest changes I have experienced. Within a week I started college, and have become a single parent living on my own! That's a lot to take in. But I noticed that being in school has helped me to feel hopeful, inspired and even distracted enough to get through the day.
 
As I looked around my emptier apartment after dinner I started to feel sad, and began reminiscing on all the good times Nick and I shared throughout our life together. Knowing that those times are long gone, and there's nothing I can do about it, I decided I had to do something to get through this time in my life.
 
Clearly the site of my apartment was triggering these emotions. It's a big unorganized mess right now. So I dove in and rearranged some furniture. And let me tell you, moving a queen sized bed and a desk by myself was hard work! And it's over 30 Celsius (feels like 40!) outside right now (which is really weird for this time of year)! But it made me feel better.
 
And so I decided that my apartment needs a complete makeover.
 
But like I always do, I started thinking and looking even deeper into my problems. Not only is my apartment a mess, but my life is a big mess, too.
 
There are so many things in my life that have been making me unhappy for so long that I got used to it and it just became the norm. Like my weight gain, and my not so pretty wardrobe. I've been slacking in the parenting department, too. And I never go out with my friends any more. Not to mention, my finances are a disaster!
 
That is why I decided I need a complete life makeover.
 
Now, some people are probably thinking "Don't take on too much!" Which is good advice, but I know myself pretty well now and if I don't keep myself busy I will fall into a horrible, deep depression. Which is kind of how my life got into such a big mess in the first place! I haven't had a job or been in school for almost a year now. Being a stay at home mom has never felt right for me, either. And besides, it's just me and Sid now. I might as well pay a little more attention to myself!
 
And so I looked through all of the different areas of my life and chose 6 that really needed some attention.
 
Those 6 areas are:
  1. Health
  2. Parenthood
  3. Relationships with friends and family
  4. Home
  5. Money
  6. School
Each month I will write out one goal for each area of my life that needs work. I'll aim to achieve those goals of course, but I know that sometimes things just can't get done. In which case, that goal can get bumped into the next month or maybe I'll try something different and get back to it later. That happens sometimes, you feel like you're ready to do something and then later on realize you weren't.
 
For the rest of September my goals are:
 
1. Health: Pick up exercise bike from my aunt's house and go on it for 15 minutes a day. Not a long time, but enough time to get me started. Any longer than that and I might not even bother!
 
2. Parenthood: Work on our evening routine. You know, supper, tidy up, bath time, story, bed, etc.
 
3. Relationships: Start making plans with friends again.
 
4. Home: Rearrange furniture and organize belongings in bedroom and living room.
 
5. Money: Send out resumes for a part time job, for no more than 12 hours a week (I don't want to exhaust myself). Pretty sure I will need all the money I can get at this point! AND work out a monthly budget to help keep spending under control.
 
6. School: School is just on here so it doesn't get neglected. Basically, show up every day on time, hand in homework on time.
 
That's my plan for the next 20 days. If everything goes over smoothly, hopefully I will have built a few new good habits and accomplished some stuff, and can add 6 more goals for October!
 
What areas could you work on in your life?
 
Thanks,
Cole

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Moving Forward and Staying Positive

Warning: Personal Post

The reason I'm sharing this personal and emotional story is because those of you who do follow my blog, I just want you to know what is going on in my head over the next little while. Why I'm doing the things I'm doing and such. And it's also why I haven't been posting much lately. I felt I needed to say this for you to understand what's to come. Things are going to be quite different around here... in my life, in my head and on my blog.

I never thought I would write a post like this in my life, but here it goes.

Earlier this year many things happened that weren't exactly positive. Nick and I leaned on one another for support to get through that time. After we managed to get our own aparmtnet, the two of us couldn't wait to dive into our new life together.

But this summer was a strange one. One filled with heavy emotions, good and bad, and eventually Nick and I came to the realization that while we do still love and care for one another, it just isn't working any more. The attraction and pull towards another that we used to share has simply faded away and though we tried to bring it back it just wouldn't. Maybe it just couldn't. And so we eventually agreed that it's time we went our separate ways.

At first the idea of breaking up with the person I thought was my one true love was absolutely devastating. I didn't (don't?) want to lose him because not only is he the father of my child, my first love and support system, he was my absolute best friend. I say don't because I wish things could go back to the way they were, that we could feel those feelings and want the same things in life, but it just isn't going to happen. It's not going to be easy to lose that part of our relationship and while we have to maintain a respectful relationship for our daughter I know that Nick and I can no longer be close like we used to.

Breaking up comes with many challenges though and depending on the situation those challenges can greatly vary.

For Nick and me, our life was built around one another. Everything we have we have purchased together or for each other, or received as joint gifts. We've grown up together, since I was 16 and he was 19.We have a daughter together, a whole life together. And now we have to figure out how to separate all of that as equally and fairly as possible.

Not to mention the emotional aspects of breaking up. Anyone who has ever broken up can surely relate to those feelings. While this break-up is mutual, it's still extremely difficult for me. I'm losing someone after all.

Most people won't understand why two people who love and care for each other are breaking up. Sometimes I don't even understand it.

It feels right though.

In simple terms, we grew apart. We want different things in life now, and trying to mesh our very different ideas and goals together was exhausting and frustrating.

I'm still scared. I've never lived on my own before. I definitely won't be reading any Stephen King novels for the next few months. I have no idea how I'm going to make things work financially, but I'm sure it is possible. I don't know how to be by myself, I've been in a relationship for almost one third of my life.

I'm also a single mom now. Sidney is taking it surprisingly well at the moment, but I have no idea how she's going to feel about it later on. And of course, as well as helping Sidney deal with this change, I have to allow myself to grieve. There will be nights when I will curl up in my bed and cry, or when I feel the need to beat up my pillow, but within time I'm sure it will become less frequent and eventually it will stop.

This is new and scary territory for me, one I've never explored before.

I came up with a plan though. A plan to help ease the pain of my loss, and to help me move forward in a positive way. Hopefully with all of my plans working in action, I will come out a better person.

Tomorrow I will be sharing my plan with you guys.
 
Thanks,
Cole

Saturday, September 7, 2013

RESP For My Daughter


Yesterday I went to the bank and opened an RESP for my daughter. This is something I've been wanting to do for quite some time now, but I wasn't sure how to go about it, or if I could afford to put money away for her education.
 
Having to get a student loan for myself made me realize how important an RESP is. If I want to help Sidney pay for post secondary school, and avoid the hassle of student loans, this is the way to do it.
 
And once I got to the bank and sat down with one of the employees I found out it really isn't as complicated as I thought it would be. Mind you, I'm still not one hundred percent sure on everything he was talking about, but he gave me a gigantic booklet I can read through later.
 
One of the most interesting things I found out earlier this summer was that because we're considered a "low-income family" living in Ontario, the government will put $500 into Sid's RESP right away. Every year afterwards until she reaches the age 15 they will deposit another $100 up to $2000. On top of this free money, they will match up to 40% of whatever I put in. So if I deposit a $100, they will deposit $40! Pretty cool, eh? It's called the Canadian Learning Bond (or CLB) and it's what motivated me to set up an appointment this year.
 
I also have it set up to automatically deposit $50 at the end of each month into her RESP. I might have to switch it to something cheaper but I can change things up anytime I want to. Including the option to deposit money into it whenever.

The bank employee also explained a little bit about investments with me, and interest rates and high risk accounts and what not. My brain doesn't work with numbers, or interest rates, or other such things, so I had to kind of go with his opinion on it. If I do learn more about this stuff and feel like I want to change it later on, I can do that, too.
 
Getting this RESP finally set up for Sidney made me feel really good. I like knowing I'm doing the best I can for my daughter. And it's nice to know there are so many different programs and options for lower income families, you just have to figure out where to go and who to ask.
 
Did your parents have money put aside for your education? Or have you set one up for your child(ren)?
 
Thanks,
Cole

Friday, September 6, 2013

First Week of School



My first week of college is officially over, and somehow I survived! Mind you, it was only three days. Usually I will have 4 days of school (Monday through Thursday), always between the hours of 11AM and 6PM. Not bad!
 
Over the past three days our professors have been giving us fun little exercises to help us get to know one another. If everyone stays in the program, we will be working very close with one another for the next two years (although, apparently more than half will likely drop out? According to my professors.).
 
I wouldn't say that I'm embarrassed of my life - being a young mom, living on my own, just starting college now - because I'm not. But I never know how people are going to react to it. I don't want people to think less of me because of it, or judge me before they get to know me. And I think that a lot of people will judge me.
 
Whenever we had to do these little exercises in class I wasn't sure if I should throw that in there, but yesterday I decided, "Hey, they want to know a bit about me, well Sidney is basically my whole life. I might as well throw it out there."
 
So when we did our little interview practice with a partner I was fortunately teamed up with a very friendly girl who was 1. shocked that I had a kid so young, 2. excited to listen to my story and 3. didn't seem judgemental at all. When she had to introduce to me to the class afterwards based on our interview I was really nervous! It's one thing to have a one on one chat with someone (who was being equally as open and honest with me about her life), but it's another to have someone else present it out loud for the entire class to hear. Plus, I hate being in the spotlight.

BUT I made it through!

Of course this was the last class of the week, and I have no idea what people were thinking afterwards.
 
I'm sure it went in one ear and out the other, considering I can't seem to remember anything anybody said about themselves or their interview partners that afternoon. I know, I'm horrible but I was too freaked out over having to go up in front of the class to focus on anything else.

Other than that, my week was pretty great! I love my classes, my professors are all super amazing! And they are all working journalists, too! Except my Group Dynamics teacher who doesn't teach anything to do with journalism. But seriously, how awesome is it that all of my teachers are working journalists? I think it's pretty sweet.

I'm also really happy to be back on a routine. And I think Sidney is, too.

Which by the way, Sidney is LOVING grade one! She's already making new friends, one of them named Sydney, and is excited to go to school every day.

On the first day of school Sidney won a prize for completing her assignment before anyone else! She's actually in a split class with grade ones and twos.

It's been a super exciting week. I can't wait to go back to school on Monday. Always excited to get home to be with Sidney, but I never seem to want my classes to end either.

How was your week? Did you return to school, too?

Thanks,
Cole 

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