My Gratitude Journey From Pessimist to Almost Optimist

 

It's been a few weeks since I last linked up over at Erika's Grad-itude 101. These past few weeks have been kind of difficult for me for certain reasons, and I'm also doing my own little Life Makeover project that is much needed! However, I am super happy to get back into the gratitude link-up fun!

 

Gratitude is something I've been exploring for just over a year now. It's been a life changing experience for me and so I want to share how I first started learning about the benefits of gratitude, and how it's helped me.

 

Last summer while I was working at D3 Artworks Inc., I fell into a pretty bad depression. I had a ton of support from my co-workers, supervisors, friends and family but if you've ever experienced depression you know that sometimes other people just can't help you. I ended up seeing a doctor and got antidepressants which kept me neutral, but I wanted to feel happy, or even just content, not neutral. Sometimes neutral is worse than sadness, it's like you don't feel anything at all. You're just numb.

 

Finally, I realised that if I wanted to feel happy again I was going to have to do something about it.

 

So one day after work I went over to the public library and wandered around the self-help section. The first book to really jump out at me was The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. I had heard about The Secret before. I knew there was a DVD, and my mom tried to get me to listen to the audio CD a couple of years before, but I had brushed it off. All of a sudden I found myself curious about it.

 

Reading The Secret helped me to view life a little differently. Mind you, I don't believe that just thinking things will make them exist. I truly believe in working for things and such, but I took what it had said and applied it a little bit differently to my own life. I started thinking that things were possible.

 

But I needed more than that.

 

 

And then one day I came across another book by Rhonda Byrne called The Magic and it was exactly what I needed. This book talks a lot about gratitude! It's the reason I got into writing gratitude lists. It has 28 exercises for you to do in 28 days. Things like; writing gratitude lists, feeling thankful for what you do have, and appreciating the people who are in your life.

 

For months I carried it everywhere with me, along with a journal and a pen. After I completed the 28 days, I would still flip through it whenever I felt I needed some inspiration, or if I was having a bad day. It was my reminder to feel grateful.

 

I used to be the most pessimistic person I know. I'm not even kidding!

 

Now I'm optimistic. Most of the time.

 

But I can honestly say that I'm happy more often than sad, or angry, or upset in any way.

 

Do you practice gratitude? How did you get into practicing gratitude? Is it something new, or have you been doing it for a long time?

 

Thanks,
Cole

Who am I? And What Keeps Me Sane.

I often lose sight of myself. 

Who am I? What do I want out of life? Where am I going? What am I doing? What am I even thinking? Am I going crazy? Have I already gone crazy? Who is this crazy lady talking to herself?

Oh yeah, it's me.
 

 

 

Hello, world!

 

And yet I still don't know myself.

I am 23 years old tomorrow. I don't care for birthday wishes, presents or parties, but I do want ice cream cake. Hold the candles.

In my (short) life I have learned many things. I have strove to be a better person, and still have fallen flat on my face. Often actually. And in public. But besides my physical clumsiness (which Nick refers to as being absent-minded, not clumsy), I feel like I am constantly struggling to stay up on my feet mentally, spiritually and emotionally. 

There are things that have helped me, though.

Journals

 Picture from DarleneBNemeth

 

Since I first learned how to write I have been writing in a journal. It's the one thing in my life that has kept me sane. Writing down what's going on in my life, my feelings, my hopes, dreams and goals, has some how kept me from a complete and total meltdown. It's helped me keep track of my goals and to-do lists. More importantly though, it's a way to talk about your feelings without having to confess all your deepest, darkest secrets to an actual human being. By writing everything down you can look back on what you were thinking a little bit later with a fresh perspective, and help you realize how completely insane you were. 

The Secret

My Lifesaving Book!

 Picture from The Secret

Yes, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne has been helping me become a more grateful and optimistic person. Over a year ago I would have laughed at this because I thought it seemed very silly. "If you can believe it, it will be yours!" It sounds kind of silly if you think into it too much, but after reading The Secret, and then later on The Magic, I have noticed some major changes in my attitude. From a recovering pessimist, I highly recommend reading The Magic. 

Art

My desk at D3 Artworks Studio

 D3 Artworks Inc.

Last year I had the great fortune to be able to participate in an art program at D3 Artworks. I met a lot of cool people, learned some new skills and had some amazing experiences. All of the employees were so generous, encouraging, understanding and motivating. They made me feel good about myself, and even helped boost my confidence and self-esteem. It's because of the people at D3 Artworks that I was able to start this blog, and open my Etsy shops. They gave me the courage to apply for college and look into funding. They also helped me feel more comfortable with myself. I can't believe I was lucky enough to have that life changing experience. I want everyone in the world to be able to come across something like that one day if they haven't already.

I have a long way to go.

It's been really difficult the past couple of years. Financially I've been struggling to keep up with our bills. Emotionally I've been struggling to feel happy because things aren't exactly how I want them to be. Stress has caused a lot of strain on me physically; weight gain, acne and bad habits. 

And still...

I believe that we can all be whoever we want to be, have the things we want, and live the life we dream of. There will always be obstacles and challenges, but that's what makes us stronger.

This life has been one hell of a ride, and yet I have no regrets. I wouldn't change anything, because the events that have led up to this point have shaped me into the person I am today. 

Instead I continue to look ahead while trying my best to enjoy the present.  

What are some things that keep you sane?

Thanks,