Day 13 Blog Challenge - Regret

31 Day Blog Challenge - March

 

Regret - "to feel sorrow or remorse"

I suppose there are a few things I regret, but I try not to. The reason for this is because pretty much all the events and experiences that have taken place in my life are what have lead me to this point. I may not have my house or my dream career, but I have something much more important. My family, for one. 

And I've learned a lot. 

For example, I used to want so much material possessions, but after going a couple years learning to go without (due to a lack of funds) I realized how unimportant those things are and how to enjoy the simple things in life.

My one real regret is that I stopped exercising on a regular basis. I used to be a lot thinner, but more importantly I used to be a lot healthier! 

I used to workout almost daily, and sometimes twice a day. I ate a lot better, and enjoyed it. 

Then, I sunk into a depression. I don't like making excuses for things, but that was a difficult time in my life. I felt like things would never be normal again, and I was doomed for a life of misery (pretty lame, but like I said - that experience taught me a lot). 

But it was during that depression that I just couldn't stand the idea of doing anything that I didn't absolutely have to (like care for my daughter, complete school work, go to work). So exercising got the boot, and as time has passed my depression has gotten better but my body took a lot of stress. 

I gained a bunch of weight, my muscles have gone to mush, and I feel like crap all the time. 

I'm so out of shape I don't even know where to start! Like an idiot, I tried to jump right back in where I left off. Clearly that didn't work out. I have to start all over again, from the beginning! 

But yeah, that's my biggest regret. Letting myself get so out of shape. The worst part is, I always thought I was fat! I may never have been "skinny" but I was never fat. And my biceps were huge!

Now I get to lose weight all over again! I've already been there, done that. I know what works and what doesn't. I know how to keep it off - don't stop exercising! And now I might even appreciate my health more than my "ideal" weight.

What do you regret?

Check out my previous challenges:
Day 1 - Portrait
Day 2 - Favourite Quote
Day 3 - What Makes Me Happy
Day 4 - Best Childhood Memory
Day 5 - Favourite Movies I Never Get Sick Of
Day 6 - Random Acts of Kindness
Day 7 - My Dream Job

Day 8 - Pet Peeves

Day 9 - What's on Your Life List?
Day 10 - Daily Routine 
Day 11 - The Last Books I've Read
Day 12 - Something I Miss 

Thanks, 

Who am I? And What Keeps Me Sane.

I often lose sight of myself. 

Who am I? What do I want out of life? Where am I going? What am I doing? What am I even thinking? Am I going crazy? Have I already gone crazy? Who is this crazy lady talking to herself?

Oh yeah, it's me.
 

 

 

Hello, world!

 

And yet I still don't know myself.

I am 23 years old tomorrow. I don't care for birthday wishes, presents or parties, but I do want ice cream cake. Hold the candles.

In my (short) life I have learned many things. I have strove to be a better person, and still have fallen flat on my face. Often actually. And in public. But besides my physical clumsiness (which Nick refers to as being absent-minded, not clumsy), I feel like I am constantly struggling to stay up on my feet mentally, spiritually and emotionally. 

There are things that have helped me, though.

Journals

 Picture from DarleneBNemeth

 

Since I first learned how to write I have been writing in a journal. It's the one thing in my life that has kept me sane. Writing down what's going on in my life, my feelings, my hopes, dreams and goals, has some how kept me from a complete and total meltdown. It's helped me keep track of my goals and to-do lists. More importantly though, it's a way to talk about your feelings without having to confess all your deepest, darkest secrets to an actual human being. By writing everything down you can look back on what you were thinking a little bit later with a fresh perspective, and help you realize how completely insane you were. 

The Secret

My Lifesaving Book!

 Picture from The Secret

Yes, The Secret by Rhonda Byrne has been helping me become a more grateful and optimistic person. Over a year ago I would have laughed at this because I thought it seemed very silly. "If you can believe it, it will be yours!" It sounds kind of silly if you think into it too much, but after reading The Secret, and then later on The Magic, I have noticed some major changes in my attitude. From a recovering pessimist, I highly recommend reading The Magic. 

Art

My desk at D3 Artworks Studio

 D3 Artworks Inc.

Last year I had the great fortune to be able to participate in an art program at D3 Artworks. I met a lot of cool people, learned some new skills and had some amazing experiences. All of the employees were so generous, encouraging, understanding and motivating. They made me feel good about myself, and even helped boost my confidence and self-esteem. It's because of the people at D3 Artworks that I was able to start this blog, and open my Etsy shops. They gave me the courage to apply for college and look into funding. They also helped me feel more comfortable with myself. I can't believe I was lucky enough to have that life changing experience. I want everyone in the world to be able to come across something like that one day if they haven't already.

I have a long way to go.

It's been really difficult the past couple of years. Financially I've been struggling to keep up with our bills. Emotionally I've been struggling to feel happy because things aren't exactly how I want them to be. Stress has caused a lot of strain on me physically; weight gain, acne and bad habits. 

And still...

I believe that we can all be whoever we want to be, have the things we want, and live the life we dream of. There will always be obstacles and challenges, but that's what makes us stronger.

This life has been one hell of a ride, and yet I have no regrets. I wouldn't change anything, because the events that have led up to this point have shaped me into the person I am today. 

Instead I continue to look ahead while trying my best to enjoy the present.  

What are some things that keep you sane?

Thanks,