I've been dealing with a lot of changes, and emotions are stirring around in my head that I don't quite understand. Sometimes I feel like it's too personal to discuss on my blog, but I enjoy sharing myself on here. So this week on Grad-itude 101 I'm going to share how I'm trying to feel grateful for who I am and to accept myself.
Learning how to be grateful has had a huge impact on my life. I can now look around and see how truly lucky I am instead of always feeling like I don't have enough.
One of the biggest challenges I face in life is accepting myself. I often feel like I'm not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, talented enough, or whatever might apply to what I'm doing at the time.
For example, after I handed in my first news story to be graded I just kept hoping that I would at least pass. In my mind there was no way it would be good enough to even get more than a passing grade. I even talked to one of my classmates about it afterwards, and asked her for advice on how to write a news story considering she has experience. But when I got my news story back, I got a really nice surprise! And I was surprised, because I got 100%.
Even though I managed to get 100% on my first story, as I wrote my second news story and handed it in I kept thinking, "Man, I hope I at least pass. There's no way this is good enough to get more than a passing grade."
Well, I won't know for sure until later. But my point is, no matter what I'm doing I always feel like I'm going to fail and that I'm not good enough.
It's frustrating and I so badly want to at least like myself so I can become a better role model for Sidney and accomplish more in life. The way I see it, if you don't have confidence, you hold yourself back instead of pushing yourself forward because you constantly feel like you're going to fail. That's no way to live.
This week I'm going to write a gratitude list based on myself.
- I am grateful for my arms, hands and fingers that give me independence and allow me to do so many different things.
- I am grateful for my sight, so that I can see all of the beautiful things in this world, and all of my family and friends.
- I am grateful that I can hear music, and voices, and movies.
- I am grateful for my height, because I'm not too short and I'm not too tall.
- I am grateful that I am relatively healthy, and everything works good.
- I am grateful for my natural talent at drawing, which provides me with great pleasure.
- I am grateful that I have been getting really good grades in school so far.
- I am grateful for my sense of humour that allows me to laugh so often and at even the simplest things, because laughing is amazing.
- I am grateful that my teeth aren't too crooked even though I've never had braces.
- I am grateful to have the willpower to try and succeed no matter what.
This list took me a while to write. I had a difficult time coming up with things so I started with the basics, and the further I got down my list the more difficult it got but I refused to allow myself to lie.
How about you? What do you like about yourself?