Day 12 Blog Challenge- Something I Miss

31 Day Blog Challenge - March

 

Something I Miss Right Now:

Right now I'm really missing summer. Swimming, camping, barbeques and warm, sunny days. Right now it's about 1 C, and raining. I'm so over snow, and I'm so over cold and rainy.

Something I Miss Often:

Having my own apartment, my own space. I got to decorate it the way I wanted to, buy the food we liked best and had plenty of time to myself. I like being alone. Don't get me wrong, living at my mom's house is great, but I still miss having my own home often.

Something I Will Always Miss:

Certain friends and family that I no longer have contact with either because they moved, we grew apart and went our separate ways, or they passed away. No matter how a friend or family member leaves my life there will always be good memories, and me wishing we had more time together.

Check out my previous challenges:

Day 1 - Portrait

Day 2 - Favourite Quote

Day 3 - What Makes Me Happy

Day 4 - Best Childhood Memory

Day 5 - Favourite Movies I Never Get Sick Of

Day 6 - Random Acts of Kindness
Day 7 - My Dream Job
Day 8 - Pet Peeves

Day 9 - What's on Your Life List?
Day 10 - Daily Routine 
Day 11 - The Last Books I've Read

Thanks, 

Parents Should Stop Judging One Another

 

As Humans, We Judge.

People are always so quick to judge. We judge other people on how they dress, what they eat, their parenting style, their jobs and income, hobbies and likes. It’s a never ending list of things to judge someone on. I’m just as guilty of this as anybody else.

But then…

I had a very wise teacher while I attended an adult learning center to complete my high school credits and graduate. He told my classmates and I that it wasn’t fair to judge people on our beliefs and values, but to judge them on their own. At first I was a little confused by this and while I don’t completely agree with this statement 100%, I finally understand what he meant.

For Example.

If I were living in another country, the laws and beliefs there would be different. I wouldn’t be allowed to go there and follow the laws and beliefs that we have here in Canada without some consequences because they simply do things differently over there.

Another Example.

I’m a one-man kind of girl. And my hubby, Nick, is a one-woman kind of guy. So that works out well for us, but if another couple decides to have an open relationship and the two of them are completely okay with that, as well as the other people they see, who am I to judge them?

However, it would be wrong for one person in the relationship to believe they are allowed to see other people, but their significant other is not allowed. That’s what is known as hypocrisy.

Am I making myself understood or am I just babbling now? Anyway… Back to my main point.

As Parents, We Judge

There are a million different ways to raise a child, and 999, 999 of them are all correct.

I believe that being a parent is the most difficult job there is and it’s also very scary. Make one wrong mistake, and you feel like the biggest failure of all time. We all want what is best for our children; for them to be healthy, happy and successful (whatever that means), and our children are heavily dependent on us parents to provide them with the skills and knowledge to achieve those things.

I think any parent would agree with me when I say that there isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t question my parenting ability and second guess every decision I make.

It’s even more difficult when there are a thousand different resources with a thousand different opinions on parenting. To make matters worse, we have every other mom out there watching our every move, ready to pounce on all of our choices and criticize our decisions. Instead of supporting and helping one another, it feels like other mom’s are all out to get one another. Does anyone else ever feel this way?

So from my own experience I have come up with a short list of the things I feel parents judge other parents on the most.

Top 4 Things Parents Judge Other Parents On:

Eating Habits

This starts right from infancy. There’s the whole breastfeeding over formula arguments, and even though it has been proven time and time again that breast milk is healthiest it’s not always the right decision or even an option. For example, my older sister was not able to produce breast milk for some strange reason, so she had no choice.

Then it starts up again with when to introduce solids, and you know that whole, “only introduce one new food a week” topic that I seemed to forget to do… There’s the whole, “OMG you let your one year old drink apple juice?!” topic, and when is it okay to allow your child to start eating “junk” food?

It only gets more complicated as they get older, too. I really don’t know why other parent’s are so concerned with what other people are feeding their children. How about we give advice to one another on what foods we like to feed our kids, with some tips and tricks we know, but in the end butt out and worry about your own family? Sounds like a deal to me.

Activities

This can range from things like sports, dance classes and other after school activities, but it also includes how we choose to let our children spend their spare time.

Some parents might think I let my daughter watch too much television, but then there are parents who have the TV on all the time.

I don’t like the cold, or winter, so we don’t play outside very much in the winter and some people might think that that’s awful. In the summer we’re outside all day though; swimming, playing, going to the park or the beach. 

Bedtime Rituals

Some people think it’s wrong to have children co-sleep with their parents after a certain age, while others are fine with it up to age 6. Personally, once my daughter turned 6 months old I put her in her own bedroom and forced her to fall asleep by herself. My mom thought I was mean because I was okay with letting her cry herself to sleep. Of course I checked on her regularly! First every five minutes, then ten, then twenty… Eventually she was able to fall asleep right away on her own.

It’s not your responsibility to decide what is right for other families. My daughter’s bedtime is 8:30p.m. because she functions well off of 11-12 hours of sleep. My niece’s bedtime is 7:30p.m. because her school starts earlier. Maybe your child only needs 7 hours of sleep, or maybe they need 14 - you know what’s best for your child so don’t worry about what other people say.

Discipline

I think this is a big one. Disciplining a child is tricky, I know! My daughter has tantrums quite often, and most of the time I just don’t know how to deal with them. I actually have to try and cut sugar out of her diet because she goes nuts and starts misbehaving immediately after she’s had a couple pieces of candy.

I try to do the whole time-out thing, but she won’t sit still and just screams non-stop. I can’t tame her with love, you know, hugging her tight and trying to calm her down because she goes even crazier. Most of the time the only thing that works is to bring her into a quiet room where there is nobody else, turn on a cartoon and just have her veg out for 10 - 15 minutes. 

Every child is different. Every family is different. Therefore every body’s rules and upbringings will be different.

We can give advice on what works for us and our family and children, but we can’t expect it to be the only right way to do things. It’s not fair to judge other parents. Variety and diversity is what makes the world go round, and it’s what makes life so amazing. Plus, it never hurts to keep an open-mind and try new things.

Do you have any opinions on this?

Thanks,

Young Mommy Memoirs Joined Facebook

Young Mommy Memoirs Facebook Fan Page!

Today Young Mommy Memoirs joined Facebook!

In all honesty, I was a little skeptical about adding a fan page for my blog because I'm a little skeptical about Facebook in general. But because I want to reach as many people as possible I figured it's one of the best ways to do that. 

How many people are on Facebook? Like, everyone I know. And how often do these people go on Facebook? Like, multiple times a day. That's why it seemed so important to start a page. 

If you have the time, come check me out! And I wasn't kidding when I said I just made this page! I'm lacking likes and content as of right now, but give me time and I assure you that my fan page will be the place to get updates and information. 

http://www.facebook.com/YoungMommyMemoirs

Thanks, 

Teen Mom Interview - 1

 Teen Pregnancy/Motherhood Interview

I've been wanting to interview other teen moms to post on my blog to give a little insight on what it's really like. Since I know a few other moms in real life who got pregnant as teenagers, I hope to get a few interviews from them but figured it might be helpful and encouraging for others to step up if I interviewed myself first. 

Cole's Teen Pregnancy Interview

Pregnancy to Teen Mom

How old were you when you found out you were pregnant?

I had just turned 17 when I found out I was pregnant.

What was your initial reaction?

I was really, really shocked! They weren't kidding in health class when they said you could get pregnant your first time. 

In all honesty, my first reaction was to terminate my pregnancy. I wasn’t ready to be a parent. I felt as if I could barely take care of myself let alone a baby who would be completely dependent on me for everything.

How did your baby’s father react?

My boyfriend had the same reaction I did. He wasn’t ready to be a dad, just like I wasn’t ready to become a mom. He supported every decision I made though, even after I decided to keep our baby.

What made you decide to go through with having a baby?

Honestly, it wasn’t until I saw the ultrasound that I chose not to get an abortion. I think that’s when I realized that there was a little person inside of me, and that little person was my baby and I didn’t want anyone to ever hurt her.

How did your friends and family react?

Nick and I didn’t tell anyone other than our two best friends about our pregnancy for the first five months. At that point there was no way I was going to able to hide an enormous pregnant belly, especially as the months got warmer and I had to start dressing in tank tops and shorts. 

At five months pregnant though, everyone had suspicions. I had quit partying, smoking and hanging out all of a sudden with no real reasons as to why. My parents obviously noticed these things, too. Then there was the big weight gain, mostly in my stomach area, and my eating had increased a lot, too.

When Nick and I finally decided to tell people mostly everyone was excited. My mom took me maternity clothes shopping. I honestly thought my mom and dad would be furious, but they were very supportive.

What steps did you take to prepare for motherhood?
 
Nick got a fulltime job that made really good money so he could financially support the three of us. We bought a car, and made sure to have all of the materialistic things needed to raise a baby; crib, blankets, bottles, etc. My friends and family members bought us a ton of stuff for our baby shower. Honestly, we didn’t even have to buy much. We were incredibly lucky.

The biggest thing was mentally preparing myself. I had never really been around babies or children before. I had no idea what I was doing, so I just dove headfirst into a ton of pregnancy and parenting books, especially What to Expect When You're Expecting . I watched movies and television shows, but those mostly just scared me. I talked to my mom a lot about what to expect, and went to a couple appointments at the hospital to set up everything. And of course I always made to see my doctor regularly. I used to get my Grandma to drive me to my appointments before I told anyone I was pregnant. I told her it was for counseling.

When you were pregnant, did you notice that people treated you differently because you were young?

There were a few nurses at the hospital that were really rude. I did notice a lot of stares from people on the streets, but no one ever said anything. While finishing my last semester at school I was able to hide my growing stomach under baggy sweaters, so I didn't have to deal with classmates saying anything. If anyone had noticed, or had an opinion on my early pregnancy, they never said anything to my face. 

How did becoming a teen mom affect your life?

Becoming a mom would change anyone’s life dramatically. The biggest thing though was not having my own place to live, or a high school diploma. Those things made me feel bad, and so I forced myself to become a much more responsible person. I rarely went out with friends, became a much more clean and organized person, and for the first time in years I had goals that I wanted to achieve like becoming healthier and looking into careers.

Did you have to take time off of school or were you able to graduate high school on time?

I did drop out senior year because I wanted to be home with my baby to raise her. Through correspondents and then later an adult learning center I was able to get all of my high school credits and graduate.

What was the hardest part of being a teen mom?

Having to give up a lot of my spare time. I wasn’t used to being so selfless, but I quickly got used to my new mommy routine. I missed seeing my friends a lot, and not getting out as much. Being a mom can also be very mentally and physically draining, too. I had never felt so busy in my life.

What are your plans for the future?

I’m in the process of applying to college right now. I want to go to school for journalism and become a fulltime writer. We’re trying to pay off our credit card debt, and save for our own apartment or house right now, too. Mostly, I just want to be able to provide everything Sidney needs to be a happy and healthy child. 

There it is, my interview with myself. 

If you were a teen mom and would like to answer the same questions feel free to contact me. You can send me a picture and I can link the interview back to your website/blog if you want. Or if you would prefer to stay anonymous that's fine, too.

The point of these simple interviews is to help give people an honest perspective of teen moms and hopefully erase some of the stereotypes us teen moms get thrown into. 

Thanks, 

Week In Review - Family Day and Too Much Stress

 

Family Day - Indoor Playground!

 

Week In Review:

It's Friday everyone! It's the weekend, and my daughter is super excited to be able to stay home and play with her mommy (me! Aren't I a lucky duck?).

Home life is still tense right now. There's a lot on my mind; school, my living situation, money, and work. I feel bad because I haven't had much time to blog and work on my Etsy shop this week, but I enjoy this online life so I keep up with it as much as I can. 

 

Personal Life:

Parenting - My patience has been really short lately. With all this added tension in the house and the silent arguments, my mind hasn't been in the right place. I feel awful for not being mentally here right now for Sidney but my stress levels are about to explode right through the roof.  

We did go out for family day though. We went to Funworx, which is an indoor playground. It was so busy there! Kids on top of kids. Seriously, you could barely get around the place without knocking into a bunch of people, but Sidney and her cousin Faith had a lot of fun.

Growth - My entire life feels like it's on hold right now. Where did the week go? Honestly, I haven't done anything lately...

Health - My goal for waking up earlier hasn't been working out too well. Instead I feel like I just want to sleep forever, and ever, and ever. 

Professional:

Work - I'm still applying to a bunch of different places. I haven't gotten one single call back though. It is a bit discouraging, but what other options do I have? I need to find a job. 

My college funding application is almost complete! I just have to send in a couple more bits of information and off it will go. How exciting is that? Very!

Etsy - Little Shop of Hemp made it's first sale this week! A custom key chain. I was beginning to think my hemp store was a waste of time and money, but that one sale has encouraged me to keep trying. Besides, I enjoy making hemp jewelry.

As for Little Shop of Treasures, no sales this week. I do have some new items I need to post though. I'll get around to it soon. Been taking a mental health break this week. I have been approved for the Bloomin Earth festival though! In two months time I have to be all ready to set up a booth and sell some awesome vintage treasures. This will be my first sale, and I'm really nervous. That's why I've been doing a ton of research.

Writing - I've been feeling uninspired lately, so instead of writing much I have been reading a ton! Magazine articles, ebooks, blogs and novels. Just filling my brain with other people's work. Of course my journal has been getting a lot of attention this week, I should call it the Whine Diaries. 

I hope everyone's week has been going better than mine! Sorry for the pity-party-post, but that's all I have to say this week - wah, wah, wah. 

Thanks, 

Week in Review - Not So Good

Decluttering my belongings. Good bye magazines!

 

Week in Review:

I just want to start off by saying that this week hasn't been the greatest. Everyone in the house has been sick, there's been a lot of tension and my head just isn't where it should be and instead is completely lost in space or something. I've been having a difficult time staying positive this week, and my temper has been really short. 

Well, it's Saturday now and a long weekend so I'm glad to be able to put the past behind me and enjoy the now which includes laying in my bed watching Monsters Inc.

Personal Life:

Parenting - Sidney got her report card this week and she has been doing so good in school this year. She also got invited to a birthday party which she attended today, little miss popular ;). 

Growth - Remember how I've been weeding through all my junk? Well I managed to continue with that and today I got rid of all my magazines. And by got rid of I mean I put them all in a box and out of my room. So technically they're still around but I've been putting things aside for our annual May yard sale. Magazines aren't a huge seller, but it's better than throwing them all out (recycle of course). For 10 cents each I'm sure people might buy them for reading, scrapbooking or crafting. The process of simplifying my life is a long one.

To be honest, I would just donate all my stuff but my debt keeps demanding I pay it off. Whatever I don't sell at my yard sales always goes to charity thrift stores though. Win-win for everyone.

Health - We have all been sick here! Tired, groggy, snotty and coughing. My mom and sister also had the pleasure of accompanying the flu. Needless to say, it's been a rough week. I missed two appointments and some sleep. Sidney missed some school and has been driving me crazy. I have been drinking a ton of water though, so that's good.

I also got a new Kindle book called Luxury of Less: The Five Rings of Minimalism by Karol Gajda which I found not only very entertaining but also informational and inspiring. It seriously made me want to just throw out all of my belongings and take off on a world adventure. My goal towards a minimalist lifestyle is beginning to seem more real now.

Professional:

Work - Job postings have begun to increase finally! So I've been emailing and handing out resumes like crazy. I really hate those online applications, but have been doing those, too. There's this job down the street from here, a bakery, and they're hiring, again, and I REALLY want that job. I walked in there with my resume and smiled and was polite and told myself I was gonna get the job! I'm hoping for a call back next week. 

Etsy - Up to 22 sales for Little Shop of Treasures, with some great new items on the way! And Little Shop of Hemp is about to get it's first sale - a customized key chain. So all is good there! Plus, I registered for a table at Bloomin Earth Festival which is an outdoor market for upcycled items and vintage treasures. They also have ecofriendly crafts and information booths. My shop needs to get approved still, but I have my fingers crossed. I think  I could really use an event like this to boost my confidence. 

Writing - I have a book idea. I don't want to say anything about it yet, but I'm going to start doing some research this week. 

How's your week been?

Thanks, 

Mixed Emotions That Come With Pregnancy

Gigantic Pregnant Belly!

I felt like writing this post because I think that pregnancy can be an interesting topic, and although my pregnancy was back in 2007 I still remember it quite clearly (and maybe my journals helped with my memory a bit).

Anyway…

 

Nine months of pregnancy can seem like a lifetime while it’s happening. 

It can be the most difficult nine months of your life (so far). There’s a rollercoaster of emotions that comes with pregnancy. You’re excited yet terrified. Then you’re happy but sad. You feel ecstatic and at the same time devastated. Or at least I went through all of that, but that might of had something to do with being a teen girl who never planned on having a baby or a husband.

Does anyone ever actually plan on having children? Okay, there are probably a lot of people who do, but I know for a fact that there are also a ton of people who didn’t. 

 

I for one did not plan on having a child.

Well, I was 17 at the time and who really plans on getting pregnant at 17? Not many people around here.

If I didn’t “accidentally” get pregnant I don’t think I would have ever chose to have a child. I was never fond of children. Now I know that I would have missed out on a lot of wonderful things if life had it worked out that way. (You can read more about this here).

Finding out you’re pregnant unexpectedly can be one of the most terrifying feelings. Ever watch the movie Knocked Up? Guaranteed everyone’s experience is different, but sometimes our reactions and feelings can be very similar. 

When I first became pregnant it was like some how I just knew.

Or maybe I was just super paranoid. Well, the first sign was that my stomach felt weird. I felt queasy often, but not in a flu-like way, just a little nauseous now and then. After I missed my period I started to panic, but I kept my cool by reminding myself that I was still very irregular. Two weeks, still no period; I bought a pregnancy test. I still remember that day very well. I asked my mom for money so Nick and I could shop at Value Village, and then we walked across the street to Shoppers Drug Mart to purchase my first and only pregnancy test.

That pink cross felt like a nightmare, a curse, like I was being punished for all the bad things I had ever done. I just wanted to crumple up into a ball and disappear. I felt like my life was over. Morning sickness didn't help me feel any better, either.

I thought to myself, there goes “the best days of my life.” 

No more high school parties, no crazy college experiences or partying in my early twenties at the bar.

Alright, all that didn’t sink in until farther along (and looking back, I haven‘t missed out on anything). My initial reaction was to terminate my pregnancy, but you can’t book your appointment until after you’ve gotten an ultrasound.

So that’s what I did. I refused to go through my family doctor in case he ever mentioned something to my mom or dad and ended up going into a walk-in clinic.

It was love at first site. 

It was at that moment I decided there was no way I could go through with it. One glimpse at the ultrasound and the flicker of her heart beat forced me into motherhood.

I was terrified to tell Nick I wanted to keep our baby. We had just started dating, but I knew I had to tell him sooner or later. I made it clear to him that having the baby was all my choice and I didn’t care if he stuck around or not (although I secretly hoped he would). And obviously he did because 6 years later here we are.

There are times I think to myself, “If only Sidney came after college.” That way I could have had an easier time raising her; having an education, maybe some money and a job, but it didn’t work out that way. 

I believe things have worked out for the best.

Did you plan your first pregnancy? What was your initial reaction?

Thanks,
Cole

A Simple Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day Gift

Valentine's Day... Blah

Okay, I'm going to be honest here.

I'm not against Valentine's Day, but I'm already sick of it. Every where online there have been pictures, quotes, blog posts and even Etsy has been going Valentine-Crazy since mid-January. The internet is more cluttered with Valentine's Day than any store I've been in.

Generally we don't do a lot for Valentine's Day. Restaurants are cramped, line-ups are ridiculous and there really is nothing romantic about having to wait an hour to do something only to be surrounded by hundreds of other couples.

Do you want to know what we do?

We don't buy presents.

• I like to make my family pancakes, with fresh fruit for breakfast.
• I bake a bunch of different cookies for Nick.
• Get Sidney a box of chocolates.
• Sometimes I make a card, or buy a Peanuts card.

And do you know what Sidney hands out at school? She doesn't hand out perfectly frosted cupcakes, handmade cards or anything fancy. She picks a box of cards from the store, we stick a heart shaped sucker on it and done.

I don't dress up.

• I don't wear pink, red or white. I don't dress different from any other day.
• Although I do dress Sidney up, because that's one of the pros to having a daughter.

We don't go out.

We don't go out for fancy dinners, or movie dates. I mean, we might make a fancy dinner and watch a movie. Or we might grab a Timmies coffee and walk through the park. I guess it depends what we're in the mood for on that day. As of right now, I have no idea what we're doing tomorrow.

We just enjoy each other's company.

But that's just me. I don't really make a big deal out of any holiday.

What do you usually do for Valentine's Day?

Thanks,

Mom is the Most Annoying Word

"Mom" can be the most annoying word in existence.

You know when your baby is first learning how to talk, you're so desperate for them to learn the word mommy or daddy? Well, when Sidney first started to talk I, too, couldn't wait for her to learn how to say mommy, and my mom, Grandma, Aunt and every other mom in my life warned me that I would soon hate it. I considered that, but I still couldn't wait.

No doubt, hearing her say "I love you mommy" will always make my heart skip a beat, but then there are the times when all she says is "Mom! Mom! Mom!" And I try to respond but she won't shush even for a second so I can get a word in. So I have to yell, "What do you want?!"

And then Sidney will say, "You don't have to yell, Mom." all mature and grown-up-like.

I really believe she does this just to annoy me, because afterwards she'll start giggling.

Why not "Dad"?

It's obvious why she comes to me for things instead of her dad. I raised her full-time while he worked crazy hours. I've always been the one to feed her, dress her, play with her, take her out shopping or to the park, read her bedtime stories, bath her, etc. A mom's job is never done. It would be nice though if she could start asking her dad for things. Why is it I'm the one who has to jump up to get her a drink? Her dad is just as capable. And he'll do it if I ask him, I'm not saying he won't help out his kid. I'm just saying Sidney doesn't ask him nearly as much as she asks me for things.

Not only things but for attention.

Did you ever notice when you're trying to do something, that's when kids want your attention the most? For example, if I'm on the computer checking messages while she is home she will be doing the whole "Mom! Mom! Mom!" thing and start yanking on my sleeve, whining that she's bored and wants to play, then she's thirsty, hungry, tired, wants a movie on and it doesn't end until I get frustrated and close my laptop.

However, if I'm just sitting on the couch staring off into space she will amuse herself. She'll help herself to an apple, manage to fill her own water bottle, she'll sit and play nicely. That's when you think you can get up and sneak in some dish washing time, but when she notices you have left the couch she follows and it starts again.

This rarely happens to Daddy. He can play darts out in the garage, surf the net, play his bass guitar and do basically anything he feels like with very minimal interruptions from Sidney.

I love being a mom (most of the time), but I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be the dad instead.

Oh well, I stay happy knowing he will get his torture time come the teenage girl years. I've been a teenage girl (not so long ago) and he's in for one hell of a time! Ha ha ha!

Does your child(ren) do this to you, too?

Thanks,



Life, Expectations and Appreciating What You Have

Live in the moment, appreciate what you have and just roll with it.

Life is weird. It never turns out how you expect it to.

I never, ever, ever, ever, ever, never thought that one day I would be 22 years old, with a five year old daughter, engaged to one of the hottest guys at my high school, living in my parents basement and trying to get into college for Journalism.

What I Thought Back Then

• When I was 16 I was contemplating becoming asexual. I thought men (boys) were all pigs. I never had a serious boyfriend and didn’t want one. I was actually very upset that I wasn’t a lesbian and could not make myself become one. Finding men attractive upset me even more (there went my asexual plan). And I certainly never believed in marriage.
• I also never thought I would have children. I never took babysitting gigs. I didn’t swoon over babies. I wouldn’t even hold a baby. To be honest, Sidney’s diaper was the first one I had ever changed and I am embarrassed to admit I had to page the nurse in to help me (and it was a pee diaper). 
• I never really put any thought into what I wanted to do with my life. I kind of pictured myself being a novelist, or an artist but didn’t think it would be possible (I had really low self-esteem). I never even really considered post-secondary school.
• As far as my living situation went, I really enjoyed the idea of having my own cute studio apartment in a big city, just me and my cat. Which is the complete opposite of what I want now.

What I Got

I have to say though, I am so happy with how things have turned out!

• I’ve fallen in love, and felt true heartbreak (what a rollercoaster of emotions!). 
• Having a child has made me a much better person, truly. She gives me hope, motivation and opens my eyes to all the beauty in the world. Something I could never see before. 
• And living in a big city? Forget it! I want a hobby farm with a greenhouse and chickens. Although, I might prefer having my own place over living in my parent’s basement at the moment. BUT I am truly grateful for my mom’s generosity and support, and that we have a place to live. 
• As far as post-secondary schools goes, it’s like this thing that I just have to do. I don’t know why but I so desperately want to receive my diploma and check it off my goal list. I love writing, I love writing articles and opinion pieces - it only makes sense to take journalism. And who knows, I might write a novel one day yet!

It’s crazy how much things can change over the years. It’s also exciting, because routine kind of drives me insane.

Where will I be in a year from now? Two years? Five years? No one knows and I don’t even want to. I love knowing that I don’t know and won’t know until it happens.

You just gotta roll. (Yeah I took that from Hotel Transylvania. Great movie, but like I mentioned before - getting kind of sick of it.)

Has your life turned out how you expected?

Thanks,

What Age Would You Drop Off Your Child For Birthday Parties?

First Birthday Party Alone

 

Sidney's Birthday Party

My daughter is going to her friend's birthday party, without me, by herself!

What age is a good age to drop your child off at a party alone?

I guess that depends on the parent and what they are comfortable with.

For myself, I would want to get to know the family first. In this case I have talked to the parents a little bit. Sidney attended the same birthday girl's party last year and I had stayed with her the entire time.

I would want my child to feel comfortable there. My daughter is kind of shy, she doesn't go up to other adults easily when she wants or needs something. Making sure she's okay with being left there for the party first is very important to me. In this case, I talked to Sidney about it. I asked her if she felt alright with going alone. She's actually excited because she's a big kid now. I also talked to her about not being afraid to ask for a drink, or where the bathroom is. Last thing we both want is for her to have an accident because she's too shy to ask.

I would need to know where the party is being held. Is it some place public? At their house? Will she be supervised closely or in a large playground with a hundred other kids? This is important to know because you want to know it's going to be someplace safe and where your child will feel comfortable.

I think it's a good idea to ask the host if you should stay or go. Some parents will state on the invitiation if they would prefer you to accompany your child. Asking when you call to RSVP is a good idea. When I threw Sidney's birthday just a few months ago I told the parents they could stay if they wanted to, because I knew I felt comfortable in watching the kids with Nick's help but if they felt uncomfortable leaving their child alone they didn't have to.

I also feel more comforted when I know who else is attending. Who are the other kids? My child's closer friends from school, or are there children attending who Sidney doesn't get along with? Also, which other parents are attending? Do I know any of them? I feel that also has a lot to do with whether I stay, or just drop her off.

When I bring Sidney to the birthday party, I will probably hang around for at least a half an hour, to check out who's there, make sure Sidney is comfortable and get a feel for things. I can't help but feel a little cautious.

What age would you allow your child to attend a party alone? And what are some things you factor in?

Thanks,

Being An Introvert And How It Affects Parenting

My Experience As An Introverted Parent:



Quiet Time

First of all, I think it’s important to explain what exactly an introvert is and to debunk some of the myths.

In simple terms an introvert is a person who becomes energized by being alone, and exhausted by external stimulation - being around other people. They enjoy thinking, exploring their thoughts and feelings. Introverts are not always shy, stuck up, anti-social, loners, nerds or weird.

While I am shy, and probably very weird, I am also an introvert. That’s just my personality.

For the longest time I actually thought something was incredibly wrong with me. How was it that I could literally, and physically feel drained after being around other people? Why did talking with people at work, and school and even my own family and friends make me feel so tired? And being alone doing the same things make me feel energized? I noticed this happening, but I didn’t know there was a term for it, and that other people also experienced this.

Then I learned I’m an introvert and there’s nothing I can do about that.

My real concern is, how does being an introvert affect parenting? I’d be lying if I said Sidney didn’t tire me out. And living at my parents house again, being around more people, tires me out even more.

It’s hard to explain I guess. While I absolutely love my daughter, and adore spending time with her, there are days when I would love to just be alone.

To make things even more difficult, my husband and child both appear to be extroverts. Sidney is constantly demanding my attention. She doesn’t understand why mommy would ever want alone time, because she hates to be alone.

So I started to do some research on parenting as an introvert. I got some great tips to meet both my introvert needs, and my child’s extrovert needs.

• Make sure your child gets lots of time with other people whether it’s a playgroup, with family, or after school activities.
• Thank goodness for school, and that my daughter can spend a major part of her day with a classroom full of other people - if you work at home, enjoy the quiet while it’s there.
• Take the time to be alone and don‘t allow yourself to feel guilty - you will be a better parent this way because you will be more energized and happy.
• Have your spouse spend some quality time with your child so that you can have some time to yourself, whether it’s to read a book, take a bath or simply sit and think.
• If you have to, hire a babysitter and instead of going out with other people, go out alone for a couple hours.
• Skip the busy, crowded gym and workout at home alone - walking, jogging, yoga.
• If your child is old enough to have friends over without being supervised really closely, have them in another room where you can still hear and be aware while still having quiet time.
• Do not try to parent like an extrovert and always (physically) be there 24/7. While family time is important, and yes parenting is a 24/7 job, alone time is important, too.
• Hopefully you have a job where you get to work alone most of the time, or with few people. Allow this to be your refuge. I used to love working alone up in the photo lab with no one there but me, myself and I. We had great conversations.
• It actually helps to have the television and radio off. For some reason even added noise to a room all ready full of people can add to my exhaustion.

The end result is this; while spending quality time with your child(ren) is extremely important, so is self-care.

Just like bathing, exercising and Friday date nights are important, so is quiet alone time.

Do you consider yourself to be an introvert or an extrovert? And does it affect your parenting?

Thanks,

　

The Importance of Friends, And Why I Don't Have Any

Making Friends Is Hard:

 

My Friends and I - 2011

One of my biggest challenges right now as a young mom is making friends who I can not only get along with well, but relate to on some level.

The women who are close to my age (between 20 and 25) either do not have children, or they’re just starting to have children. So, they’re either out partying and in college, working a full-time job, or changing poopy diapers and playing peek-a-boo. For reasons unknown I feel like we’re on completely different maturity levels, or just simply in different phases at the moment.

Then the mothers who have children close to Sidney’s age are much older than me. I have tried talking to mother’s at Sidney’s school, and before at play groups, but there were no clicks - we had nothing in common.

I spend most of my time by myself during the day, which is fine and I actually like it. But then there are times when I would love to just go out for coffee with a friend, or hang out with someone while our kids can play together, and most of all have someone I can talk to (other than Nick and my Mom).

When I do go out it’s usually with my Grandma or my Mom. Sometimes I hang out with my sisters, but not very often. Then there is the very odd time I do go out with my friends from high school, but it’s usually after Sidney has gone to bed and it’s for an hour or two - or it’s a special occasion like a birthday, or New Year’s Eve.

I knew when I was pregnant at 17 years old that I probably wouldn’t have as many friends after I became a mother, and it was true. Turns out most of those people weren’t my friends anyway, and I wasn’t all that heartbroken to lose contact, even if I was bored at times.

I kind of took friendship for granted at that time. I was so busy being a mom and a wife that I didn’t really miss my friends. Then for a while I was hanging out with different friends quite often. They would stop by for dinner, or coffee. We would walk to the park and play with Sidney, and talk. Then all of a sudden everyone got too busy for us. The tables have turned now.

I feel that having friends and a social life is important, but how does someone like me, a young mom, meet friends? I don’t have a job where I’m introduced to new people. I’m currently not in school. We don’t go to play groups any more, and for the next couple months Sidney’s not in any after school activities.

Besides, even when I did have a job, was in school and going to playgroups or activities I never made any friends.

What’s a young mom supposed to do?

Thanks,

Growing Up and Moving Forward

Young Mom Growing Up:

Growing Up


I consider myself incredibly lucky. 

I've been able to (mostly) stay at home to raise my daughter since she was born. I have had odd jobs over the past three years, but for the most part I have been a stay at home mom. 

I was there to watch her first steps, 
hear her first words, 
comfort her through her first cold and 
raise her myself the way I wanted to. 

Not a lot of parents get that opportunity. A lot usually have to go back to work after their maternity leave is over within a year, but because I was a teen mom (and a high school dropout) I didn't have to worry about that. 

I'm not saying it was easy. 

We had our financial struggles but to me time spent with my daughter was more important than money spent on her, as long as she had everything she needed (and she did). 

While I enjoy working outside of the home part-time simply to get out of the house and interact with other people who aren't family, I just can't stand the thought of a full-time job away from Sidney. That's why I've been trying to find ways to make money from home, like so many other parents. But that takes time.

Now I have to face reality. 

I need to make more money, which means I need to find a job. 

On Wednesday I went to find out about college funding and if I'm eligible for living allowance while I am in school. This will pretty much determine how the next year goes. If all goes well I will be attending college this September. If not I have to look into a part-time program and hit the pavement for that dreadful full-time employment. Let's root for option 1!

Yes, college will take up a lot of my time. I'll either be in classes or doing homework but I know I'll be working towards something better. 

It's very scary, and very exciting and when I think about it too much I feel an anxiety attack building inside of me. Will I go to school? Or will I have to get a job? These thoughts can consume me if I let them.

So I try to push it out of my mind and try to focus on other things. Simply because I won't know the answer until later. Still, I can't help but obsess and clench my jaw, and give myself a headache!

Do you ever stress yourself out over things you have no control over?

Thanks, 

My Bad Temper And Feeling Guilty

I lost my temper this morning.

Yesterday the school had sent a letter home saying the teachers would be on strike today, and there would be no school. So I let my daughter stay up a half hour later than usual. However, early this morning I found out that teacher's were no longer going on strike and that students were expected to go to school. 

Sidney was really tired when I woke her up, and disappointed because I made the mistake of telling her last night she was going to get to stay home today. This made for a really cranky little girl. She was giving me attitude, whipping her shirt in my face while I tried to dress her and screaming at me. 

I completely lost my temper. No matter what I said or tried I couldn't get her to listen or treat me with respect. 

She ended up being late for school, and we parted angry and upset with one another. This is the first time I have sent her off to school feeling that way and now I don't feel angry, just childish and sick to my stomach. I feel so guilty, and unworthy of forgiveness. I'm the parent here, right? Why didn't I act like it? 

I definitely need to refresh my memory on how to deal with this type of behaviour properly, and push my own tiredness away the next time.

In the mean time though, I get to pick Sidney up in ten minutes and all I want to do is hug her so tight, and never let her go and to apologize over and over again.

Does anyone else ever have days like this? Do other parents lose their temper, and feel quilty afterwards?

Thanks,

Happy New Year! 2013

Happy New Year!

It's officially 2013 today! Which means it's time to reflect on the year that has passed and plan for the year ahead.

Just the other day I was thinking to myself, "How would I rate this year? Good, or bad?"

Because every year I either title it as a year that was overall a good year, or a not so good year. So of course my mind started racing. Is a year considered good if more good moments happened? And vice-versa? Is it based on how many good things have happened over bad things? Can one good moment outweigh several bad moments? How do you tell if a moment is bad or good?

Then I thought to myself, how can an entire year be good or bad? There is no such thing as a good or bad year.

I had to stop myself from thinking into this too much, because it's just one of those things that doesn't actually have a real answer.

I did end up reflecting on certain things that have taken place in my life over the past year that have shaped me into a better person, or lead me in a better direction. I feel as if I am finally becoming the person I was always meant to be. Truthfully, I think this is happening because of all my "failures." Like having to move out of our apartment, the job hopping, having to wait to go to college, etc.

It's almost like, when there's nothing to lose you feel more confident in chasing your dreams.

And that's what 2013 has in store for me.

I'm forcing myself to be brave, to try new things, new adventures and to swallow my fear of failing and just go for it! In fact, I've already started this in the past couple of months.

In 2012:

• Graduated high school.
• I started my first blog.
• Submitted a short story for a contest (never heard back, but the point is I sent it!)
• Opened an Etsy shop.
• Started being creative again.

My 2013 Goals:

Personal:

Health - Over a year and a half ago I was a much healthier and fitter person. I ate really good, exercised routinely and took care of myself. I don't have any good excuses for why I let myself slide back into bad habits (eating out a lot, being lazy), other than it was a rough couple of years financially. So this year I want to make a conscious effort to lose weight and get in shape.

Parenting - I used to do a lot more with Sidney. We were always going out and doing things but in the past few months we haven't been until just recently. Partly because I was working a lot before, and then when I wasn't working we didn't have much money. Since we've been busy most days over winter break, it's reminded me how much fun going out is, and that yes it's worth the extra effort and money. Also that there are tons of stuff to do that is free, or very inexpensive. So in 2013 I want to do more, to go out more and be a better, funner parent.

Growth - I want to simplify my life. Declutter my belongings, re-organize my room and start practicing mindfulness. I feel like this will help me to grow as a person. I'm also doing The Magic by Rhonda Byrne, but instead of blogging about it I'm just keeping a journal for now. There's also a course called Seven Paths to Freedom by Curtis Rivers I want to follow as well, maybe after I have completed The Magic.

Professional:

Blog - I would really like to expand my blog and make it better. It's been a good experience so far and I'm enjoying it a lot. I have a lot of ideas I want to do. Add recipes, crafts, maybe even do a series of interviews with other teen moms. I have a feeling this will be a good year for my blog.

Etsy - I opened my vintage shop on Etsy in October and since then have already made 13 sales. I am having so much fun on Etsy and it's proving to be a profitable venture. I have a lot of hobbies and I hope to turn some of them into Etsy shops as well. In fact, I'm working on a new shop right now and will be selling hemp jewelry. I hope to open it in about two weeks. I might even look into participating in craft shows.

Writing - Writing is a passion of mine. I don't put as much time into it as I would like to, or should, but my blog has been helping me get back into the habit of writing every day. For as long as I can remember I wanted to be a novelist. And for the past five years I have been kicking around this one story idea but have been too scared to write it. I've always just thought that I had to write it perfect so that others would enjoy it. Now I've decided to just write it for myself, the way it should be. This year I want to at least start my novel.

College - Once winter break is over and Sidney goes back to school next week I have to go find out about funding and apply for college. If everything works out, and it should, I will be attending college (finally!) this fall! This is huge for me.

Work - Again, once winter break is over I need to start looking for a part time job to help bring in some money. Unfortunately there aren't too many places hiring but I feel confident I will find something within the month.

So that's it. My plans/goals for 2013.

What resolutions or goals have you made for 2013?

Thanks,