Monday, January 14, 2013

The Importance of Friends, And Why I Don't Have Any

Making Friends Is Hard:


My Friends and I - 2011

One of my biggest challenges right now as a young mom is making friends who I can not only get along with well, but relate to on some level.

The women who are close to my age (between 20 and 25) either do not have children, or they’re just starting to have children. So, they’re either out partying and in college, working a full-time job, or changing poopy diapers and playing peek-a-boo. For reasons unknown I feel like we’re on completely different maturity levels, or just simply in different phases at the moment.

Then the mothers who have children close to Sidney’s age are much older than me. I have tried talking to mother’s at Sidney’s school, and before at play groups, but there were no clicks - we had nothing in common.

I spend most of my time by myself during the day, which is fine and I actually like it. But then there are times when I would love to just go out for coffee with a friend, or hang out with someone while our kids can play together, and most of all have someone I can talk to (other than Nick and my Mom).

When I do go out it’s usually with my Grandma or my Mom. Sometimes I hang out with my sisters, but not very often. Then there is the very odd time I do go out with my friends from high school, but it’s usually after Sidney has gone to bed and it’s for an hour or two - or it’s a special occasion like a birthday, or New Year’s Eve.

I knew when I was pregnant at 17 years old that I probably wouldn’t have as many friends after I became a mother, and it was true. Turns out most of those people weren’t my friends anyway, and I wasn’t all that heartbroken to lose contact, even if I was bored at times.

I kind of took friendship for granted at that time. I was so busy being a mom and a wife that I didn’t really miss my friends. Then for a while I was hanging out with different friends quite often. They would stop by for dinner, or coffee. We would walk to the park and play with Sidney, and talk. Then all of a sudden everyone got too busy for us. The tables have turned now.

I feel that having friends and a social life is important, but how does someone like me, a young mom, meet friends? I don’t have a job where I’m introduced to new people. I’m currently not in school. We don’t go to play groups any more, and for the next couple months Sidney’s not in any after school activities.

Besides, even when I did have a job, was in school and going to playgroups or activities I never made any friends.

What’s a young mom supposed to do?


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  1. Hi, I am a new follower. I found your blog and love it- I totally agree about the friends thing. I used to have loads and since I left work on Maternity and moved area they all dwindled away. Would be great to be online blogging friends :D hope you can take a look at my blog and follow
    Kayleigh xx

    1. Hey,
      thanks for checking out my blog! Blogging friends sounds awesome.
      Checked out your blog, too! Wish I had thought of blogging when I found out I was pregnant, it's really cool to be able to read yours from the beginning.

    2. I slacked of major from about 12 weeks or so I think, I dont know why...I think the fear of having a baby hit and I stopped. Luckily I began again when Finley was 6 or so months :) x

    3. Definitely, blogging is fun!

      Come to think of it, I'm kind of glad I didn't blog when I was pregnant, because it would probably have been embarrassing for myself.

  2. This is a great post! I go through this sometimes.... Wondering when I will be able to get some friends. True, genuine friends that I can relate to. I spend a lot of time with my granny and mom too:-)

    1. Thanks! It's kind of nice to know I'm not alone. And moms and grandmas are great for that :)

  3. Look for organized mothers groups in your areas at churchs. Some you bring your child with you and meet during the day and some meet in the evening w/out kids. There are usually organized like a meeting with a speaker, activity and free discussion time. You may click and become friends with someone or just enjoy the time with the group. Also get involved in your child's school... Working on PTA events or home room mom activities is agreat way to meet other people and help your child. Good luck

    1. Thanks! I know there are groups around my community that we could we get involved in. I've been thinking about getting more involved.



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