Sunday, January 13, 2013

Growing Up and Moving Forward

Young Mom Growing Up:

Growing Up

I consider myself incredibly lucky. 

I've been able to (mostly) stay at home to raise my daughter since she was born. I have had odd jobs over the past three years, but for the most part I have been a stay at home mom. 
I was there to watch her first steps, 
hear her first words, 
comfort her through her first cold and 
raise her myself the way I wanted to. 

Not a lot of parents get that opportunity. A lot usually have to go back to work after their maternity leave is over within a year, but because I was a teen mom (and a high school dropout) I didn't have to worry about that. 

I'm not saying it was easy. 

We had our financial struggles but to me time spent with my daughter was more important than money spent on her, as long as she had everything she needed (and she did). 
While I enjoy working outside of the home part-time simply to get out of the house and interact with other people who aren't family, I just can't stand the thought of a full-time job away from Sidney. That's why I've been trying to find ways to make money from home, like so many other parents. But that takes time.

Now I have to face reality. 

I need to make more money, which means I need to find a job. 

On Wednesday I went to find out about college funding and if I'm eligible for living allowance while I am in school. This will pretty much determine how the next year goes. If all goes well I will be attending college this September. If not I have to look into a part-time program and hit the pavement for that dreadful full-time employment. Let's root for option 1!

Yes, college will take up a lot of my time. I'll either be in classes or doing homework but I know I'll be working towards something better. 

It's very scary, and very exciting and when I think about it too much I feel an anxiety attack building inside of me. Will I go to school? Or will I have to get a job? These thoughts can consume me if I let them.

So I try to push it out of my mind and try to focus on other things. Simply because I won't know the answer until later. Still, I can't help but obsess and clench my jaw, and give myself a headache!

Do you ever stress yourself out over things you have no control over?


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