Over the weekend I got some discouraging news about my potential college funding.
The fact that I might be able to get funding totally went out the window, and in my mind I already got it. I was so looking forward to going to college this fall that I didn’t even consider that my funding application might not get accepted.
Well, the place where I am going to for college funding has many different ways of attaining it. As of right now though the number one option is looking pretty dim. If my application even gets accepted, the funding won’t even cover half of my tuition costs. This really upset me yesterday, and I spent my afternoon moping around when I should have been doing something productive (ie cleaning!) or at least doing some of my own research on college funding.
The truth is, without funding I will not be able to afford to go. I don’t even know if I could get a student loan.
I’m trying to maintain a positive mindset though. I’m going this fall for journalism. This is all I want to do with my life, it’s all I have ever wanted to do and I don’t want to wait another year.
I’m not going to be the person I’ve always been - the kind of person that gives up easily when things start to feel difficult. For many years I was that person (still am). I thought (think) that I wasn’t good enough, smart enough, pretty enough and so I would give up before things got worse or didn’t work out.
But what if they do work out?
What if I actually got the job (the one I never called back for an interview because I assumed I would fail)?
What if my novel actually got published (the one that’s still in my head because I assumed I would fail)?
What if I actually get college funding? What if I do amazing? What if I succeed?
There’s still a chance they will find a better option. So I’m going to keep moving forward with my paperwork, research and dreams and in the end everything will work out. It has to. And I have to stop being afraid.
Do you ever feel like giving up because you’re scared?