Life, Expectations and Appreciating What You Have

Live in the moment, appreciate what you have and just roll with it.

Life is weird. It never turns out how you expect it to.

I never, ever, ever, ever, ever, never thought that one day I would be 22 years old, with a five year old daughter, engaged to one of the hottest guys at my high school, living in my parents basement and trying to get into college for Journalism.

What I Thought Back Then

• When I was 16 I was contemplating becoming asexual. I thought men (boys) were all pigs. I never had a serious boyfriend and didn’t want one. I was actually very upset that I wasn’t a lesbian and could not make myself become one. Finding men attractive upset me even more (there went my asexual plan). And I certainly never believed in marriage.
• I also never thought I would have children. I never took babysitting gigs. I didn’t swoon over babies. I wouldn’t even hold a baby. To be honest, Sidney’s diaper was the first one I had ever changed and I am embarrassed to admit I had to page the nurse in to help me (and it was a pee diaper). 
• I never really put any thought into what I wanted to do with my life. I kind of pictured myself being a novelist, or an artist but didn’t think it would be possible (I had really low self-esteem). I never even really considered post-secondary school.
• As far as my living situation went, I really enjoyed the idea of having my own cute studio apartment in a big city, just me and my cat. Which is the complete opposite of what I want now.

What I Got

I have to say though, I am so happy with how things have turned out!

• I’ve fallen in love, and felt true heartbreak (what a rollercoaster of emotions!). 
• Having a child has made me a much better person, truly. She gives me hope, motivation and opens my eyes to all the beauty in the world. Something I could never see before. 
• And living in a big city? Forget it! I want a hobby farm with a greenhouse and chickens. Although, I might prefer having my own place over living in my parent’s basement at the moment. BUT I am truly grateful for my mom’s generosity and support, and that we have a place to live. 
• As far as post-secondary schools goes, it’s like this thing that I just have to do. I don’t know why but I so desperately want to receive my diploma and check it off my goal list. I love writing, I love writing articles and opinion pieces - it only makes sense to take journalism. And who knows, I might write a novel one day yet!

It’s crazy how much things can change over the years. It’s also exciting, because routine kind of drives me insane.

Where will I be in a year from now? Two years? Five years? No one knows and I don’t even want to. I love knowing that I don’t know and won’t know until it happens.

You just gotta roll. (Yeah I took that from Hotel Transylvania. Great movie, but like I mentioned before - getting kind of sick of it.)

Has your life turned out how you expected?

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