|Live in the moment, appreciate what you have and just roll with it.|
Life is weird. It never turns out how you expect it to.
What I Thought Back Then
- When I was 16 I was contemplating becoming asexual. I thought men (boys) were all pigs. I never had a serious boyfriend and didn’t want one. I was actually very upset that I wasn’t a lesbian and could not make myself become one. Finding men attractive upset me even more (there went my asexual plan). And I certainly never believed in marriage.
- I also never thought I would have children. I never took babysitting gigs. I didn’t swoon over babies. I wouldn’t even hold a baby. To be honest, Sidney’s diaper was the first one I had ever changed and I am embarrassed to admit I had to page the nurse in to help me (and it was a pee diaper).
- I never really put any thought into what I wanted to do with my life. I kind of pictured myself being a novelist, or an artist but didn’t think it would be possible (I had really low self-esteem). I never even really considered post-secondary school.
- As far as my living situation went, I really enjoyed the idea of having my own cute studio apartment in a big city, just me and my cat. Which is the complete opposite of what I want now.
What I Got
I have to say though, I am so happy with how things have turned out!
- I’ve fallen in love, and felt true heartbreak (what a rollercoaster of emotions!).
- Having a child has made me a much better person, truly. She gives me hope, motivation and opens my eyes to all the beauty in the world. Something I could never see before.
- And living in a big city? Forget it! I want a hobby farm with a greenhouse and chickens. Although, I might prefer having my own place over living in my parent’s basement at the moment. BUT I am truly grateful for my mom’s generosity and support, and that we have a place to live.
- As far as post-secondary schools goes, it’s like this thing that I just have to do. I don’t know why but I so desperately want to receive my diploma and check it off my goal list. I love writing, I love writing articles and opinion pieces - it only makes sense to take journalism. And who knows, I might write a novel one day yet!
It’s crazy how much things can change over the years. It’s also exciting, because routine kind of drives me insane.
Where will I be in a year from now? Two years? Five years? No one knows and I don’t even want to. I love knowing that I don’t know and won’t know until it happens.
You just gotta roll. (Yeah I took that from Hotel Transylvania. Great movie, but like I mentioned before - getting kind of sick of it.)
Has your life turned out how you expected?