I'm writing this post on my balcony out front. It's a nice change from the kitchen table. Two weeks ago we had a blistering hot heat wave where all you could do was sit and bake and sweat. Since then it's been too cool for me to wear shorts and a t-shirt, let alone go swimming or anything else I would normally do in the summer.
Summer is never long enough here in South Western Ontario. It's already August 1. Only one more month of warm weather, possibly two if September feels like dragging it out. I really hope it warms up soon, we haven't even gone camping yet!
Still, I would rather this cool breeze than the humidity.
The other night I had a dream that I went to my college orientation, except I was turned away. I was told I didn't pay on time and so I wouldn't be attending school this year.
Needless to say, I think I'm stressing!
It's true, I haven't paid for school yet and the deadline is quickly approaching. I still haven't heard anything on my college funding application - has it been accepted or denied? Will I get a free education or do I need to pay? As a back up plan I've applied for a student loan, but I haven't heard anything from them yet either.
Other than the whole paying for school thing, I think I'm just nervous in general! Sometimes I catch myself thinking that I don't even want to go anymore, which is a lie. I haven't been in school full-time since 2006! I don't even remember what it's like to have a ton of homework, let alone a college work load.
Then I start freaking out about child care. My Mom and Grandma have both agreed to help out with Sidney, picking her up from school or dropping her off, watching her while I'm in class, etc. Except, I'm the type of person who feels like no one can watch my child as good as me - which is also a lie because I'm not the mother-of-the-year type. I just hope Sidney gets to school on time, doesn't get picked up late and gets proper nutrition.
If that isn't enough to worry about it, I often stop to think about how I'm going to do financially. I won't be able to work, college and a five year old is enough responsibility for me at one time. Nick will be working, of course, but will it be enough?
And these are the thoughts that are going around in my head right now. With three weeks left until orientation and just one month before the first day of school, reality is starting to set in and I'm freakin' scared!