Thursday, December 6, 2012

My Daughter Wants A Sibling!

Sidney with her two cousin Faith and Lexi, 2010

My older sister Beth is pregnant with her second child. I can’t begin to tell you how thrilled I am for her, and how thrilled I am to have another baby in the family! Her daughter Lexi is also very excited to become a big sister.

However, my daughter Sidney has been begging me for a baby sister or brother since one of her friends at school last year became a big sister. Now that her cousin is “getting” a younger sister she’s been asking me every day.

The thing is, I really don’t want to have another child. Not now, and probably not ever. I can’t explain why I don’t want another child, maybe it’s because I’m really just not a baby person. I love children, especially my child, but babies are a lot of work and I really just want to take some time to work on a career, myself and my current family members.

When I stop to think about it I feel really guilty. Growing up I spent a lot of time with my sisters and cousins. I always had a playmate, had someone to talk to, someone to help me get through those family events we didn’t want to go to, someone else who understood what it was like growing up with my family (our great, wonderfully weird family). I can’t begin to understand what it would be like to be an only child. I just keep hoping that having cousins close to Sidney's age will be good enough.

Am I being selfish by not having a second child? As guilty as I feel, I don’t think I am. We’re not in a financial position to have another child. Living in my parents house, without a job or a post-secondary education really isn’t what I had planned for myself and Sidney when I found out I was pregnant. Adding another child to that equation would feel wrong.

I know that within time I will be working again, that by September I will be in college and by living at my parents house I am able to pay off my debt and save money.

But how can I expect a five year old child to understand any of that? I can’t, and I don’t, so it’s a difficult topic - one I keep trying to avoid.

What are your opinions on having multiple children vs. an only child?


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  1. My daughter wanted a sibling too, then she was around a baby for a week and she decided she wanted a puppy instead. We gladly got her one. I often feel the guilt of only having one child. My girl loves being an only child now. I have never really wanted another baby either. I am just glad to know there are other mothers out there that feel the same way I do. My daughter has cousins her own age and she is with them often. Don't let anyone else have their input. This is ultimately up to you. You may change your mind. If you do its okay, if you don't its okay too. Be you! You know what is better than anyone for you. :) Your daughter is beautiful.

    1. Thank you!
      It's nice to hear that only children can grow up happy. As weird as that sounds, I always imagined they would be lonely.

      My sister had her baby just over a week ago and after visiting, Sidney has decided she wants a chihuahua instead. Not sure if that's the dog we will get, but I know one day we'll get her a puppy, too.


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